Michellica

1. Metallica, "Enter Sandman"
2. Nine Inch Nails, "Head Like a Hole"
3. Anthrax and Public Enemy, "Bring the Noise"
4. Faith No More, "Falling to Pieces"
5. Rob Zombie, "Dragula"
6. Sepultura, "Ratamahatta"
7. Motörhead and Girlschool, "Please Don't Touch"
8. Living Colour, "Cult of Personality"
9. Pearl Jam, "Animal"
10. L7, "Pretend We're Dead"
11. Queens of the Stone Age, "No One Knows"
12. Danzig, "Mother"
13. Pantera, "Cat Scratch Fever"
14. Deftones, "Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)"
15. Alice Cooper, "Poison"
16. King's X, "It's Love"
17. Rage Against the Machine, "Killing in the Name"
18. Shakira, "Nothing Else Matters/Despedida"

For MLC.

Boy Meets Girl: Five Great Metal Duets

1. Metallica and Marianne Faithfull, "The Memory Remains"

Metallica's best original song in the past 20 years is aided by an unearthly rejoinder from one of rock music's greatest collaborators, eternal muse Marianne Faithfull. Her quote at the end is from The Misfits, not the band, but Marilyn Monroe's final movie.



2.  Queensrÿche and Pamela Moore, "Suite Sister Mary"

An awesome and ridiculous band at their awesome and ridiculous peak. "Suite Sister Mary" is a ten-minute centerpiece of a Manchurian Candidate-esque concept album featuring a full, Michael Kamen-conducted choir serenading the titular character, a dominatrix-turned-nun played by Moore. Shockingly tame when considering the depths that Queensrÿche would later sink to.



3.  Motörhead and Girlschool, "Please Don't Touch"

A punk-metal makeover of a mostly-forgotten rockabailly single, "Please Don't Touch" casts its performers as the Devil's answer to Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. Motörhead never needed to duet with anyone, but they knew it was in their best interest to give Girlschool half of this song. When Lemmy and Kelly Johnson sing "Please Don't Touch," it's a dare and not a request.



4. Rammstein and Bobo,"Engel"

Rammstein let chanteuse and countrywoman Bobo lead them into the chorus over a perfect storm of froufrou krautrock and industrial riffing. The music video gives Bobo's lines to a child and owes its life to Salma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn.




5. Ozzy Osbourne and Miss Piggy, "Born to be Wild"

Forget about "Close My Eyes Forever." This is John Michael Osbourne's only duet that does not defang him or overwhelm his collaborator, found on 1994's Kermit Unplugged. Ozzy hasn't sounded like he's having this much fun since "I Don't Want to Change the World." The band is a little stiff, but maybe Ozzy just makes everything else seem that way.

Song of the Day: Motörhead and Girlschool, "Please Don't Touch"

Lemmy's endorsement of President Barack Obama and women's right to choose last week confirmed his status at one of metal's most outspoken feminists. In a genre often deemed sexist by folks who don't listen to it, Lemmy has always been an exemplary metalhead, defying standards both artistically and socially.



In 1979, Lemmy invited a little-known band from Wandsworth on tour with him. As he remembers, in his autobiography:

"I listened to a single called 'Take It All Away' that they'd put out on some little label and thought they were fucking excellent. Plus I liked the idea of girls being in a band--I wanted to stick it up these pompous bastard guitarists' asses, because Girlschool's guitarist, Kelly Johnson, was as good as any guitarist I've ever seen in my life. The nights when she was really on, she was as good as Jeff Beck. So I went down to see them at a rehearsal they were having. I thought they were great, and I went back and told the others, 'They're coming on tour.' The boys were a bit weird about it at first, but after the first night they played with us, they shut up."

I won't give away the ending, but the best-remembered relic from Motörhead and Girlschool's team-up is deservedly the St. Valentine's Day Massacre EP, with the two bands covering each others' songs and collaborating on Johnny Kidd and the Pirates' "Please Don't Touch." Not only does the remake crush the original, it gets my vote for the best psychobilly song of all-time.