Saturday, August 1, 2026

Herman Melville

20 years ago this week, after some unexpected delays, I moved all my stuff from Westchester to Brooklyn, over two trips on the Metro-North and MTA. I don't think I was pondering the significance of starting my New York City life on Herman Melville's birthday—I was more concerned with finding my first paying job (Kim's Video) and and the movie listing at the now-defunct Pavilion Theater (I saw Jackass Number Two opening weekend). But let's give Melville his due today.

I'd read Moby-Dick for my beloved Ilja Wachs' literature course at Sarah Lawrence the previous year. I felt awestruck by the book and the class discussions, if not quite bold enough to give my own takes (when we were assigned to pick a chapter to talk about in class, I chose "The Cassock." Before you look up what it's about, I'll direct you to John Waters reading it in The Moby-Dick Big Read.) But I kept meaning to reread it, even if not as frequently as Ilja's suggested every five years.

13 years later, I had enjoyed Billy Budd (sorry, Carmela Soprano), Benito Cereno (beautifully honored in Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man), The Confidence-Man (cheers, Simon) and Bartleby, the Scrivener (thank you, Dad). I had also paid respects to Melville and his long-suffering wife Elizabeth Shaw at their Woodlawn Cemetery grave. But I hadn't revisited the Pequod since Ilja's classes, or was really giving it much thought in 2019, when I was feverishly concerned my biggest project, a book about Metallica for the (also now-defunct) publishers Rowman & Littlefield.

It had seemed like a good idea to pitch. I loved Metallica, and hadn't found the book I wanted to write about them—one that explored their cultural significance, emphasizing why this band really mattered. I had thrown my heart into a Metallica book proposal for the prestigious 33 1/3 series, submitted it hours before the deadline on New Year's Eve 2008, and felt crushed when it was rejected six weeks later. I adapted some of those ideas from the proposal into a successful Metallica class for the Morbid Anatomy Museum by 2016, and was inspired to try pitching it one more time. The next year, I had a book deal. 

The book was due December 31, 2018. By summer 2019, it looked further from being done than ever. The editors were, understandably, breathing down my neck and threatening to rescind the book deal and advance. But it wasn't the book I wanted it to be. I'd been saying, again and again, that this wasn't going to be a fact book. How could it be? There were already fact books and biographies about Metallica. Also, people could already find just about any Metallica fact on the internet.

If I was going to do Metallica justice with this book, it needed to be different. It would be like my author hero Rob Sheffield's book Dreaming the Beatles, taking on the biggest subject in its field and somehow coming up with something thoughtful, unique, vibrant, essential. How could I justify the existence of Metallica FAQ: All That's Left to Know About the Greatest Metal Band of All Time if it were just another fact book?

But here I was. I'm a nerd, and I like facts. I liked knowing that Metallica used the word "hella" in the Master of Puppets liner notes years before it entered the Oxford English Dictionary, or that Jeffrey "the Dude" Lebowski roadied for Metallica on the apocryphal Speed of Sound tour. The more fact-ridden my book got, the further it went from being the book I wanted it to be. The culmination of 30+ years of writing and thinking about music, and 20+ years of loving Metallica, the most complete statement of my life, was going to be a boring fact book.

For August 1, 2019, Herman Melville's bicentennial birthday, I gave Moby-Dick another read. It went by faster this time, on my two-hour work commute, with one copy on my phone's e-reader, an audiobook in my library app (read by Anthony Heald), and a hard copy in my backpack. I loved it even more this time and didn't want it to end. I was taking pictures of passages and sending them to my friends. Almost directly after I finished, I reread and re-listened, this time with the audiobook by William Hootkins. I'd been counting it in my top five books since college, but I think 2019 was the first year I started calling it my favorite.

Moby-Dick also showed me a path forward. My book would be a fact book, sure. But there would also be a religion chapter, a fashion chapter, a performance chapter, chapters on each character and album (again inspired by Dreaming the Beatles, but further empowered by Moby-Dick), and so much more. I set to make Metallica: The $24.95 Book, with its new title and cover, the Moby-Dick of Metallica books. That's probably not what it ended up being, but trying to do so helped me write and complete the book. 

"God keep me from ever completing anything. This whole book is but a draught—nay, but the draught of a draught. Oh Time, Strength, Cash, and Patience!"

"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be who have tried it."

"Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee; as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness. And there is a Catskill eagle in some souls that can alike dive down into the blackest gorges, and soar out of them again and become invisible in the sunny spaces. And even if he for ever flies within the gorge, that gorge is in the mountains; so that even in his lowest swoop the mountain eagle is still higher than other birds upon the plain, even though they soar."

Ilja Wachs died in 2022. At his memorial service on campus, his books were organized across a few tables for his friends, peers, and students to take with us. Some of us had traveled over continents to pay our respects. There were a few of Ilja's copies of Moby-Dick, which were going quickly (he definitely reread it more than once every five years), but I found a well-worn, hardbound Library of America edition that included two lesser-read Melvilles (Redburn and White-Jacket), filled with Ilja's notes and underlines. I took it home among five or so of Ilja's books.

I read Ilja's copy over the next few months, enjoying his notations (such as his monosyllabic Edna Krabappel laugh, a staple of our class that I was delighted to see in his notes), and mailed it to a former classmate in Alaska when I was finished. 

At the time, I was also working on my next book. I'd signed a book deal in 2021 to write a 33 1/3 volume on Body Count, accepted 13 years after my first pitch. I ended the acknowledgments of Body Count (33 1/3) with a message for Ilja, adapted from Melville's dedication of Moby-Dick to Nathaniel Hawthorne. 


I'm currently writing my third book, and once again returning to Melville. I don't think I'll ever write another book without rereading Moby-Dick in the process.

Friday, July 3, 2026

America 250

“Don’t these politicians realize the country was founded on the kind of revolutionary political thought expressed in my song? I mean, haven’t they ever listened to the national anthem? Anybody knows that ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ is really just a song about a shoot-out between us and the police. Have they forgotten that Paul Revere became a Revolutionary War hero for warning everybody, ‘The police are coming, the police are coming?'”

Ice-T in the Los Angeles Times, 1992. Photo by Mark Seliger for Rolling Stone.

Monday, June 22, 2026

The Giraffes


21 years ago this month, on summer break between junior and senior year of college, I drove solo to the Black Cat in Washington DC to see one of my favorite bands since 6th grade, Local H. The openers were a rowdy, sketchy-looking quartet that seemed like they could be fun. Before I knew what was happening, the lead singer's hand was in my hair. They started a beer fight with the crowd, had at least half the band in the audience while the rest was on stage, and got us screaming along with hooks like "You're going home in a fuckin' ambulance" and "Having fun with assholes" seconds after we learned them. I bought their newest CD after the show and was a little surprised by how nice the band members I spoke with were. My ticket was $12 and there wasn't a phone in sight. I had just met the Giraffes.

Luckily, they were from New York, a short Metro-North ride from school, and I tried to see them as much as I could over the next several years. I booked them to play my college (it took a lot of work convincing student senate to sponsor something that wasn't indie rock or folk) and watched them turn our cafeteria space into Mad Max. I wrote about them for whichever publications would let me (thank you Beyond Race and Metal Injection) and interviewed them on my college radio show (thank you WSLC). Their manager Chris gave me a high standard of music business professionalism, and the Giraffes gave me a high standard of everything—performances, albums, and just showing that a bunch of deviant, weirdo artists can still be cool to their fans. The music industry is more overrun with creeps than any of us will ever know, and the older I get the more I realize that (Aaron voice) "you have no ideaaaaa" how rare folks like the Giraffes are.

I often think of Mishka Shubaly in Ted Manitatakos' fabulous Giraffes movie, pulling out Meet Me in the Bathroom and pointing out the glaring omission in the "G" section of the index. The Giraffes have never gotten the bank or the audience they deserve, despite having more crossover appeal than your average punk/metal/surf/garage/indie/I still don't know what to call it trailblazers. They've also never phoned it on, on stage or on record, in any instance I've experienced them. At their possibly final show last Friday before Aaron escapes to Italy, they were still full of surprises. I usually avoid looking at people's phone footage of shows, but this time I keep thinking "Did that really happen?" before going back to check the Giraffes' stories to confirm yes, it did. Yeah, they do it. That's how they do it. And they do it so good.

Thank you Damien, Drew, Aaron, Hannah, Josh, Jens, John, Tim and everybody else who's been a part of this incredible story so far.

Wednesday, May 6, 2026

A Late Encounter With the Bad Guy


I lose friends over politics. These days saying as much often looks like a brag, a woker-than-thou policy that you value urgent world affairs more than your personal relationships. But even in my liberal New York City bubble, I’ve found more ways and time to argue politics than the average citizen.

I can’t attribute this to one thing. It probably didn’t help to grow up with two lawyer parents, one of whom loved to argue at family gatherings (usually taking the conservative side against my mother’s family, and the liberal side against my father’s) and enjoyed making me defend any basic claim I made with enough arguments to sway a jury. I also spent my boyhood in swing state Northern Virginia, bordering America’s political capital Washington, D.C., where federal government discourse was practically second nature to anyone I came into contact with. When I left home for college, I was surprised to learn that not everyone liked to argue, or even cared about, American politics.


Still, I didn’t feel shy about questioning someone’s statement, or fact-checking their belief, or asking them to bolster their opinion with more evidence than they may have wanted to provide. My late grandfather, a former Kennedy administration official who held onto his memories of a time when the most-admired conservative in America was Dwight Eisenhower, had as much political wisdom as anyone I’ve met. Yet I wasn’t above clashing with him when he’d suggest that President Biden could unite the country by appointing Republicans to his cabinet, like a modern-day Team of Rivals.


It feels almost inevitable that I'd love the most combative, politically-confrontational rock band of my lifetime, Body Count. In high school I heard their first album, a revolutionary blend of punk and metal music, with hip-hop and horror movie-inspired lyrics, and thought I’d found the coolest band in the world. Their song “Cop Killer” set off a political maelstrom in 1992, which involved the United States president, congress, the FBI, and others in a campaign that eventually got the first Body Count album banned from stores. I heard. Years later, I’d see Body Count’s influence in the world’s increased conversation around white supremacy, police brutality, and great replacement theory, not to mention dozens of new artists inspired by Body Count’s sound and image. With a few years of journalism under my belt, I wanted to thank Body Count by writing the first-ever book about the band. I submitted a proposal to Bloomsbury Publishing, and set to work researching the book these innovative musical heroes deserved.

 

It wasn’t easy chasing down prominent musicians for interviews, and near-impossible to get any of the band’s vilifiers, which I needed for an even-handed account of the story. I could find plenty of ‘90s press about far-right anti-“Cop Killer” hatred, sometimes spilling over into racism and conspiracy theories. But I didn’t want anyone to think I was distorting conservative claims to make my case. Most of the conservatives I reached out to never got back to me. Dan Quayle’s representative dutifully took down my contact info before never responding to any more of my interview requests. Some of the most active law enforcement officials in the fight to get “Cop Killer” banned never replied to my emails or voicemail messages. But the most important one did.


Ron DeLord is described on his professional website as “Attorney at Law, Labor Consultant, Author.” As the co-founder of the Combined Law Enforcement Associations of Texas (CLEAT), he’s spent decades as one of the most powerful police union bosses in America. A 2021 New York Times profile described him thusly:


“Ron DeLord, a fiery former Texas cop turned labor organizer, has long taught union leaders how to gain power and not let go. He has likened a police union going after an elected official to a cheetah devouring a wildebeest, and suggested that taking down just one would make others fall in line.


He helped write the playbook that police unions nationwide — seeking better pay, perks and protections from discipline — have followed for decades. Build a war chest. Support your friends. Smear your enemies. Even scare citizens with the threat of crime. One radio spot in El Paso warned residents to support their local police or face ‘the alternative,’ as the sound of gunshots rang out.


‘We took weak, underpaid organizations and built them into what everyone today says are powerful police unions,’ Mr. DeLord said in a recent interview. ‘You may say we went too far. I say you don’t know how far you’ve gone until you’re at the edge of the envelope.’”


If there is one villain in the Body Count story, it’s Ron DeLord. In 1992, DeLord was the most high-profile “Cop Killer” opponent not surnamed Bush, Quayle, North, Gingrich, or Heston. DeLord was certainly the most involved one, organizing press conferences, appearing on TV panels, mailing hundreds of information pamphlets, and spearheading a nationwide boycott of Time Warner, the media conglomerate whose subsidiaries included Body Count’s record label, Sire. In a black and white photo from a Time Warner shareholders meeting, DeLord holds a sign naming Time Warner magazines, movies, TV networks, and amusement parks to boycott. Body Count frontman Ice-T called DeLord “that particular cop down there in Texas who’s trying to show that he’s supercop” in Rolling Stone. Various Time Warner officials pleaded with DeLord for mercy, begging for their family products to be spared from the boycott. DeLord was implacable.


“We don't care if they sell a million more copies because of our protest,” DeLord told the Los Angeles Times. “You have to speak out against this sometime. If not now, when? How bad will the next album Time Warner produces be? We're not backing down one bit on this boycott. We're going to stay on them until the stench of this will make them decide it isn't worth it."


The movement to ban "Cop Killer'' eventually cost Time Warner an estimated $150 million, resulting in the company pulling the record, and dropping both Body Count and Ice-T from the label. To this day, it’s the most successful police boycott of a major corporation—DeLord points out that more recent US law enforcement furor over Beyoncé’s “Formation” or kneeling Colin Kaepernick did not get the police’s desired results.


I found DeLord’s email address on his website and sent him an interview request. I didn’t plan on confronting him about the issue, like a Michael Moore-style ambush. I’d rather coax enough of his opinions out of him and give him enough rope, as the saying goes, to emphasize DeLord’s place on the wrong side of history next to my interviews with Ice-T. DeLord responded promptly and professionally to my request, and we found a time to talk that week.


It sounded like he might be calling me on speakerphone from his car, perhaps confident he wasn’t going to need all of his attention and intelligence to handle me. I’d read that Ron spent his youth as an inner city cop in Beaumont, Texas, thrown into the job at age 21 with no weapons training or criminal code experience. He did not seem like the kind of guy who’d be concerned about something a New York liberal might say about him in a book.


Ron spoke with the Texas accent I knew from old news clips. He was genial, knowledgeable, funny, and remained steadfast in his belief that he’d been right about “Cop Killer.” He offered behind the scenes insights, articulating why it was important for the police to protest the Time Warner corporation and not Body Count or Ice-T. He revealed that he wanted to continue the boycott after the record had been pulled, and that the president of the Police Benevolent Association had to talk him out of it. (“He said ‘Ron, it’s over. We won, move on.’ And I said, ‘You’re right.’”) Ron remembered names and positions with expertise, and expressed sympathy for Ice-T and nonwhite Americans as subjects of police brutality. He even praised Ice’s acting skills as a Law & Order policeman, a casting choice that has infuriated some conservatives and law enforcement officials. He expressed hope for more progressive police reforms. Ron made some points I disagreed with—it’s hard for me to hear “Cop Killer” as encouraging targeted violence, or equate the song with writing a composition called “Jew Killer” or “Gay Killer.” But I couldn’t argue with Ron when stated that corporations don’t have free speech rights. Ice-T could sing whatever he wanted, Ron asserted, but Time Warner did not have the same protections.


“I wanted the companies to understand, you have the right to do whatever you wish but it does not come without consequences if you're selling something to the public,” said Ron. “They just didn’t put a human face on the police side of this argument. Whether police officers should or shouldn’t have dealt with someone in a certain way is not the issue. There’s 800,000 police officers out there, and we can’t advocate killing them as some solution to social injustice.”


“You can be for social justice, you can be that police have mishandled cases, or you can accuse them of racism, or systemic racism in our own criminal justice system,” he elaborated. “The point was, you can’t be a corporation, particularly in the family entertainment business, who allows someone to target anyone . . . for violence or death.”


It’s almost too easy to say Ron reminded me of a John Wayne movie character, and it did feel at times like I was speaking with a remaining pillar of traditional American masculinity. But Ron was varied enough—he didn’t speak in one-liners, or offer any hints of violence—to make me think that real tough guys are pretty different from the ones in movies. I thanked him for his time and we ended the call. Later that day, Ron sent me a photocopied excerpt about the “Cop Killer” controversy from a book I’d been unable to find. He CC’d a photographer who’d been on the frontlines of the story and asked for photos. “If you need anything else please reach out to me,” Ron concluded.


People ask what it’s like to interview Henry Rollins or Jello Biafra or Chuck D. But the interview I’ve since reflected on the most was probably Ron DeLord’s. I wanted to include more of our interview and write more about him in the book, which I still needed to edit to make the word count. I read that Ron had joined the Texas police force when jails were still racially segregated and Black officers were not allowed to arrest white citizens. In Dan Charnas’ book The Big Payback, I learned that Ron worked with one of the only Black Texas state senators, Royce West, “to fight for legislation mandating statewide technical, cultural, and racial sensitivity training” for nearly sixty thousand Texas officers, laboring for years to get the bill eventually passed over the objections of major lawmakers and most of the state’s police chiefs. Reading up more on Ron, I was saddened to find out that Ron’s father Clyde, a blue collar union bricklayer, died the summer of the “Cop Killer” scandal, ten days before Ice-T’s press conference announcing the record’s removal. There was no mention of this from Ron or in any of the press I read about him. When I see my friends’ “ACAB” or “ABOLISH THE POLICE” social media posts, I sometimes think of Ron. My grandfather died in 2023, and the week of his funeral I had a dream that Ron had died. “You love Ron!” my wife remarked, upon hearing my umpteenth reflection on one of our conversations. 


When my publisher sent me the first copies of my book, Ron was the second person I mailed one to, after Body Count guitarist Ernie C. I was touched to receive a thank you message from him, and shocked to see the photograph Ron posted on his social media accounts, smiling, holding a copy of my book directly in front of the camera. I looked closer at the bookshelf behind him, taking note of his numerous American history books, and was almost unable to fathom that my book might share a space with such prestigious works. “I was interviewed by author Ben Apatoff for his new book Body Count 33-1/3 about Ice-T’s album in 1991. Cleat and I were involved in pushing back against the rap song Cop Killer.” wrote Ron.


Trying to form words to thank him, I looked at the comments from Ron’s friends, some with “likes” by Ron.


It was an unacceptable song that never should have aired.


We should focus on Jason Aldean and Small Town! 😎


I remember him shooting the finger.

ironic that he was allowed to play a cop on Tv.


I thanked Ron privately, and never commented on his social media posts. I reached out to him again when Rolling Stone ran an excerpt from the book, and Ron encouraged me to write another one. (“Do it you obviously have the talent.”) Ron sent me a signed copy of his academic book Police Unions and the Reform Movement: The Battle for the Future of America’s Police. I’m a little afraid to read the whole thing and learn more of Ron’s beliefs. Flipping through the chapters, I can already see a contribution by someone who endorsed a presidential candidate I can’t abide. Maybe one day I’ll feel as tough as Ron DeLord and read the rest.

Friday, April 3, 2026

Fishbone

My Fishbone profile, including new interviews with Angelo Moore and Christopher Dowd, is up at The Aquarian.