Metal is perhaps important during the holiday season, when the umpteenth Muzak version of "The Little Drummer Boy" sends you right to Goatwhore's Carving Out the Eyes of God, or whatever your preferred means of blocking out Christmas music may be. I'm also in favor of busting out some of metal's Christmas best, whether AC/DC's "Mistress for Christmas," King Diamond's "No Presents for Christmas" or Spinal Tap's "Christmas with the Devil." Yet for all of metal's perks, the genre has yet to provide a truly excellent Christmas song, something on par with Run–D.M.C.'s "Christmas in Hollis" (although maybe that's setting the bar too high.)
Steel Panther come close this year with "The Stocking Song," possibly the most ribald Christmas double entendre song since Clarence Carter's "Back Door Santa." The music is just as uproarious as the lyrics, nailing the wimp-rock slush of Tesla, Extreme (yes, there are congas) and pulling out a melody that could have come directly from the '80s if it didn't sound a little like Boyz II Men. God rest you merry, gentlemen.
Showing posts with label spinal tap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spinal tap. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Friday, March 14, 2014
Key & Peele, "The Power of Wings"
With all respect to Barnes & Barnes, no musical groups do comedy better than the metalheads. An entire Dr. Demento anthology couldn't stack up to the laughs provided (intentionally or not) by Spinal Tap, Steel Panther, Dethklok, GWAR, Tenacious D, "Earache My Eye" or "I'm the Man." Hell, even some of metal's biggest "serious" bands are funnier than anything on Funny or Die. Suicidal Tendencies' "Institutionalized?" Cannibal Corpse's "Hammer Smashed Face?" Give these men the Mark Twain Prize.
Key & Peele, currently mugging on the cover of this week's Time, are the latest to join the illustrious Metal Comedy world. The video for their song "The Power of Wings," which premiered on the team's uproarious Comedy Central show, is a deadpanned tribute to metal bombast that has me laughing even harder on the third viewing. Eat your heart out, Dragonforce.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Ten Metal Bands to See Before You Die: GWAR
Imagining rock music without GWAR is like imagining film without Troma, or TV without South Park. GWAR gave shock rock its sense of humor back and reinvented it as something edgier, funnier and sicker. In a genre that does comedy better than any other kind of music (Spinal Tap, Steel Panther, Dethklok, Austrian Death Machine, S.O.D., Cheech and Chong's "Earache My Eye,") GWAR does it best.
Nothing is taboo at a GWAR show. They dismembered George W. Bush for eight years, then started mutilating Barack Obama before he'd even taken the oath of office. Every show has more jokes about sex abuse, terrorist attacks and bodily fluids than any Aristocrats routine. Imagine Bill Maher's antitheism without his self-importance, or Bill Hicks' misanthropy with a headbanging soundtrack. Their show is regularly updated to reflect the week's events, with no attempt to pander to anyone, even metalheads (Sample banter: "Glad to hear Randy Blythe has escaped the clutches of the infamous Czech justice system. Now he can get back where he belongs, blowing me.") If it's sacred, GWAR will destroy it.
In all my years of taking friends to metal shows, only once has a band has ever inspired one of my buddies to leave early in disgust. It was in 2009, when GWAR were ripping the newly-deceased Michael Jackson's face off and gruesomely eating a few babies. My friend, a sensible and cultured guy who is neither religious nor conservative, could not take it. It'd be one thing to offend a Michele Bachmann type, who probably thinks that Coldplay is Satanic death metal, but watching GWAR offend a guy who went to Sarah Lawrence College with me was something else altogether. As long as there's a room for GWAR to obliterate, rock n' roll will never become safe or stale.
But don't dismiss GWAR as being gross for the sake of being gross. GWAR are first rate showmen, social critics and comedians, not to be lumped in with the Slipknots and Lordis that cop and dilute GWAR's style. Unlike their humorless shock rock followers, GWAR never let commercial aspirations get in the way of a great time. In an interview last year, bandleader Oderus Urungus quoted Rob Zombie as (reportedly) saying, "The first time I saw GWAR, I thought ‘I want to be that, but I want to make money.’" "That to me says a lot about Rob Zombie as an artist," stated Urungus. "It says that he isn’t one."
He didn't have to go any further and call himself an artist, because, as anyone who's seen GWAR will attest, that fact is never in question. Shock rockers and shock humorists come and go almost as quickly as boy bands, but nearly 30 years into their career, GWAR are funnier and wilder than ever, leaving countless Mudvaynes and Mushroomheads in their bloody dust. GWAR beat on, boats against the current, boors ceaselessly into the future.
Nothing is taboo at a GWAR show. They dismembered George W. Bush for eight years, then started mutilating Barack Obama before he'd even taken the oath of office. Every show has more jokes about sex abuse, terrorist attacks and bodily fluids than any Aristocrats routine. Imagine Bill Maher's antitheism without his self-importance, or Bill Hicks' misanthropy with a headbanging soundtrack. Their show is regularly updated to reflect the week's events, with no attempt to pander to anyone, even metalheads (Sample banter: "Glad to hear Randy Blythe has escaped the clutches of the infamous Czech justice system. Now he can get back where he belongs, blowing me.") If it's sacred, GWAR will destroy it.
In all my years of taking friends to metal shows, only once has a band has ever inspired one of my buddies to leave early in disgust. It was in 2009, when GWAR were ripping the newly-deceased Michael Jackson's face off and gruesomely eating a few babies. My friend, a sensible and cultured guy who is neither religious nor conservative, could not take it. It'd be one thing to offend a Michele Bachmann type, who probably thinks that Coldplay is Satanic death metal, but watching GWAR offend a guy who went to Sarah Lawrence College with me was something else altogether. As long as there's a room for GWAR to obliterate, rock n' roll will never become safe or stale.
But don't dismiss GWAR as being gross for the sake of being gross. GWAR are first rate showmen, social critics and comedians, not to be lumped in with the Slipknots and Lordis that cop and dilute GWAR's style. Unlike their humorless shock rock followers, GWAR never let commercial aspirations get in the way of a great time. In an interview last year, bandleader Oderus Urungus quoted Rob Zombie as (reportedly) saying, "The first time I saw GWAR, I thought ‘I want to be that, but I want to make money.’" "That to me says a lot about Rob Zombie as an artist," stated Urungus. "It says that he isn’t one."
He didn't have to go any further and call himself an artist, because, as anyone who's seen GWAR will attest, that fact is never in question. Shock rockers and shock humorists come and go almost as quickly as boy bands, but nearly 30 years into their career, GWAR are funnier and wilder than ever, leaving countless Mudvaynes and Mushroomheads in their bloody dust. GWAR beat on, boats against the current, boors ceaselessly into the future.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Song of the Day: Cheech and Chong, "Earache My Eye"
Nobody should buy comedy records. Yes, support your stand-ups, catch their tours and watch their specials. But how many times have you actually listened to Steve Martin's "King Tut" or Chris Rock's "No Sex in the Champagne Room?" Recreationally? The next time you put either of those on a mix CD, count how many times you laugh and how many times you skip forward to the next track.
That stated, for however thousands of Adam Sandlers, there area few Lonely Islands or Flight of the Conchords who can make a laughs record with staying power. Metal is a prime contributor to this exclusive club, most famously with Spinal Tap and more recently with Dethklok and Steel Panther. Scott Ian has at least five songs that are as funny as anything by Tenacious D. But the heaviest, catchiest comedy metal song of all time is claimed by Richard Marin and Thomas Chong.
I love "Earache My Eye." That stupidly infectious, three-chord progression is weirdly heavy, especially for 1974, when it debuted. The lyrics, credited to "Alice Bowie," detail a a cross-dressing delinquent and don't have anything to do with earaches, eyes, missing prepositions or the "plot" to Up in Smoke, where it makes its most famous appearance.
Supposedly the boys were stone cold sober while filming this, making it all the funnier that they don't even pretend to play their instruments.
Being uproarious, left-field and easy to play, "Earache My Eye" is ripe for live covers, as the Rollins Band, Rush, Soundgarden (in a medley with "Big Bottom") and Korn have testified. Against all logic and sanity, two things that this song is not known for, the best cover version is Korn's. Mainly because it features Cheech on vocals.
As comedians, Cheech and Chong proved that a good-natured, mishap-prone duo with a low budget could invent, popularize and influence a new film genre for decades. And as Alice Bowie, they rocked as hard as David and Cooper.
That stated, for however thousands of Adam Sandlers, there area few Lonely Islands or Flight of the Conchords who can make a laughs record with staying power. Metal is a prime contributor to this exclusive club, most famously with Spinal Tap and more recently with Dethklok and Steel Panther. Scott Ian has at least five songs that are as funny as anything by Tenacious D. But the heaviest, catchiest comedy metal song of all time is claimed by Richard Marin and Thomas Chong.
I love "Earache My Eye." That stupidly infectious, three-chord progression is weirdly heavy, especially for 1974, when it debuted. The lyrics, credited to "Alice Bowie," detail a a cross-dressing delinquent and don't have anything to do with earaches, eyes, missing prepositions or the "plot" to Up in Smoke, where it makes its most famous appearance.
Supposedly the boys were stone cold sober while filming this, making it all the funnier that they don't even pretend to play their instruments.
Being uproarious, left-field and easy to play, "Earache My Eye" is ripe for live covers, as the Rollins Band, Rush, Soundgarden (in a medley with "Big Bottom") and Korn have testified. Against all logic and sanity, two things that this song is not known for, the best cover version is Korn's. Mainly because it features Cheech on vocals.
As comedians, Cheech and Chong proved that a good-natured, mishap-prone duo with a low budget could invent, popularize and influence a new film genre for decades. And as Alice Bowie, they rocked as hard as David and Cooper.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Metalheads of the Day: Ween
Weirdoid rock took a hit this week when Ween announced their breakup. My guess is that they'll reunite some day, but it will be at least a few years before Gene and Dean drive anyone crazy with that boogie oogie oogie oogie.
At best, such as on 1994's Chocolate and Cheese, Ween were the rarest kind of experimental band, the kind that gets stuck in your head. They parodied pop, rock, R&B and country as lovingly as Spinal Tap parodied metal, spewing out ingratiating melodies that made you want to dance even when the lyrics made you want to throw up. More cheerful than the Butthole Surfers, more singable than Mr. Bungle and more versatile than Primus, they leave a gaping hole in the alternative universe.
Ween's performances were even more unpredictable than their albums, but one treat was seeing them cover metal and hard rock standards. By not playing to a metal audience, they gave new life to classics by Motörhead, Van Halen, Nirvana and Black Sabbath.
"Ace of Spades"
"Hot for Teacher"
"Heart-Shaped Box"
"War Pigs"
There's a hint of silliness in all of these (except for "Heart-Shaped Box," which will always sound unsettling). I'm sure that the band that wrote "Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)" doesn't mind the thought of offending some humorless Sabbath fans. But I like the goofy tinges and the are-they-or-aren't-they-kidding debates that these covers raise. My take is that no one would go out of their way to learn "Hot for Teacher" just to make fun of it.
Lest anyone still doubt Ween's metal credit, they recorded the best Motörhead impression ever performed by anyone not named Lemmy. "It's Gonna Be a Long Night" is an original from 2003's Quebec, but I could hear it next to anything on No Sleep 'til Hammersmith.
Ween are pushing th' little daisies now, and they deserve a break. But if they ever come back, I bet they've got a great metal record in them.
At best, such as on 1994's Chocolate and Cheese, Ween were the rarest kind of experimental band, the kind that gets stuck in your head. They parodied pop, rock, R&B and country as lovingly as Spinal Tap parodied metal, spewing out ingratiating melodies that made you want to dance even when the lyrics made you want to throw up. More cheerful than the Butthole Surfers, more singable than Mr. Bungle and more versatile than Primus, they leave a gaping hole in the alternative universe.
Ween's performances were even more unpredictable than their albums, but one treat was seeing them cover metal and hard rock standards. By not playing to a metal audience, they gave new life to classics by Motörhead, Van Halen, Nirvana and Black Sabbath.
"Ace of Spades"
"Hot for Teacher"
"Heart-Shaped Box"
"War Pigs"
There's a hint of silliness in all of these (except for "Heart-Shaped Box," which will always sound unsettling). I'm sure that the band that wrote "Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)" doesn't mind the thought of offending some humorless Sabbath fans. But I like the goofy tinges and the are-they-or-aren't-they-kidding debates that these covers raise. My take is that no one would go out of their way to learn "Hot for Teacher" just to make fun of it.
Lest anyone still doubt Ween's metal credit, they recorded the best Motörhead impression ever performed by anyone not named Lemmy. "It's Gonna Be a Long Night" is an original from 2003's Quebec, but I could hear it next to anything on No Sleep 'til Hammersmith.
Ween are pushing th' little daisies now, and they deserve a break. But if they ever come back, I bet they've got a great metal record in them.
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