Ministry, "Just One Fix"

William S. Burroughs would have turned 100 today (or last night, February 5.) His influence on music runs through collaborations with everyone from U2 to Kurt Cobain to Laurie Anderson to R.E.M. to Tom Waits. The band names Steely Dan, The Soft Machine and Clem Snide all come from his novels, as does the term "heavy metal." He appears on the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. While he's no one's idea of an easy read (Nick Cave once wonderfully quipped that Edgar Rice Burroughs was "the superior Burroughs,") William Burroughs' inventiveness with language is still unparalleled today. Like a lyrical Jackson Pollock, his works often appear messy and spontaneous, but have inimitable flair and imagination.



My favorite of Burroughs' musical endeavors is his appearance on Ministry's "Just One Fix." For Ministry's full transformation to industrial metal pioneers (hell, inventors,) they enlisted the scariest old man in the world for their single and music video. Al Jourgensen wasn't as poetic about his addiction as Burroughs would have been, but those harsh buzzsaw guitars nail the point as deeply as any passage in Junkie.

30 years earlier, Burroughs wrote about "Uranian Willy the heavy metal Kid" in The Soft Machine, later elaborating in Nova Express, "With their diseases and orgasm drugs and their sexless parasite life forms - Heavy Metal People of Uranus wrapped in cool blue mist of vaporized bank notes - And the Insect People of Minraud with metal music." On "Just One Fix," he lived up to that description.

Roseland Ballroom

The Roseland Ballroom was like one of those old wooden roller coasters that always looks like it's about to fall apart. It wasn't the safest choice, and it didn't always work, but it could also be counted on for a thrill. Off the top of my head, I can remember three times where the sound blew out, including one where the performer ended the show early. But Roseland Ballroom had as much character as one could expect in a nearly 100-year-old venue. It was either the diviest ballroom or the fanciest dive, one of the only spots that deserved to be in Times Square in 1993 as much as 2013. It's no wonder that Keith Richards, whom it's fair to say has played his share of venues, singled it out as one of his favorites in his autobiography.

Roseland is closing in April, and I'd advise anyone in the New York City area to go before it's too late (Lamb of God, Killswitch Engage and Testament this Friday is currently the best thing on their roster). Until then, here are 10 great metal and alternative moments from the Roseland Ballroom.

1. Ministry, 2003

Straight out of rehab, Al Jourgensen raged back with Ministry's best album in a decade and a show that almost made my ears bleed through my earplugs. As if to prove he could still be crazy without drugs, Jourgensen smashed a guitar early on and brought out Skinny Puppy's Nivek Ogre for an encore of "Burning Inside." Bassist Paul Barker quit shortly after--he had handled two decades of Jourgensen's debauchery, but for some reason this tour was the last straw.

2. Liz Phair, 2004

Touring behind her "sellout" album, Liz turned out to be a cheerful, excited performer whose new songs, when freed from the Matrix's production, sounded fine next to "6'1"" and "Divorce Song." I stood next to a pair of perky kids who brought a homemade sign, sang along to "Why Can't I?" and looked terrified when she played "Fuck and Run."

3. Marilyn Manson, 2004

It was just the Marilyn Manson show that one could hope for. Promoting his first "Best of" album, the former Brian Warner played all the hits and brought out all the old costumes and props. This was also one of those show where the sound blew out, but after the "Irresponsible Hate Anthem" mosh pit, they were lucky the walls were still standing.

4. The Dillinger Escape Plan, 2006

Inexplicably thrown in between A Nightmare of You and AFI, Dillinger proved themselves the only real punk band on the bill with a blisteringly loud set. Greg Puciato, the most violent frontman since Iggy Pop, broke a speaker and a mic stand and was pulled back by security at the height of his presentation. To this day, I've never seen so many people cover their ears for an opening act.

5. Lamb of God with Machine Head and Gojira, 2007

With Gojira on their first American tour, Machine Head on their Blackening comeback and Lamb of God on their biggest headlining tour to date, metal packages did not get much better than this in 2007. After 17 years on the road, LOG were suddenly able to pack a space like Roseland with the heaviest metal to ever reach the Billboard Top Ten. Also, the only show that ever inspired me to start a blog.

6. Mastodon, 2007

Some promoter decided that a co-headlining tour with Mastodon and Against Me! would bring metalheads and punks together into filling out a bigger venue than either band was used to. Instead, the punk kids left before Mastodon came on, and we had a half-empty, 3,200-capacity room to thrash around in under the might of "Circle of Cysquatch" and "March of the Fire Ants."

7. The Pogues, 2009

The Pogues' soon-to-be legendary St. Patrick's Day reunion shows were a testament to the power of mankind, overcoming Shane's physical deterioration and the band's creative downfall to make something special. Like the Ballroom itself, the Pogues were old, wobbly and still capable of magic.

8. Them Crooked Vultures, 2009

Their album hadn't been released yet, and none of us had any idea what a band with Josh Homme, John Paul Jones and Dave Grohl would sound like. It turns out that even pretty good songs can be mind-blowing when they're supported by a fantasy rock rhythm section, and that the ultra-composed Homme was the perfect ringleader.

9. Lamb of God with In Flames and Sylosis, 2012

This was Randy Blythe's last tour before his manslaughter trial, so when I say that Lamb of God played like it might be their last night in New York, I'm not exaggerating. Seeing Lamb of God at their most emotional and political is like seeing Dillinger at their wildest or Andrew W.K. at his partiest.

10. Meshuggah with Animals as Leaders and Intronaut, 2013

Jens Kidman had fallen ill that month and Meshuggah had played their last few shows without their singer when they stopped in New York. Most of us assumed we'd be getting an instrumental show, until a minute into the first song, when Kidman ran out onstage and got a deafening burst of applause. Nothing less than "Swarm" and Kidman's angry samurai face could have prevailed over the noise, so luckily that was next.

1000 Homo DJs, "Supernaut"

When Ministry's Al Jourgensen brought some early demos to Wax Trax! co-founder Jim Nash, Nash allegedly told him "No one's going buy this. It'll take one thousand homo DJs to play this for one person to buy it."



By1990, Ministry was riding on two of the best albums of the '80s (The Land of Rape and Honey and The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste) and laughing all the way back to the Wax Trax! execs, who were happy just to release Jourgensen's outtakes. The result was Supernaut, a four-song EP under the the nom de plume 1000 Homo DJs.

Three of the songs sound like a major talent's outtakes, with even the eight-minute loop of Jello Biafra singing "Hey Asshole" showcasing Jourgensen's deft production. But I'm writing about Supernaut today in honor of its title track, a cover of the underrated Sabbath tune. Other than arguably Faith No More's version of "War Pigs," no tribute to metal's most-covered band has ever come so close to topping the original.

As we've learned through Sabbath's lineup changes, every member of the original band was integral. But even with one of rock music's most iconic frontmen and heaviest rhythm sections, Sabbath was all about the riffs. The onomatopoeia "Supernaut" shifts and shakes until it sounds like it's going to break free from your listening device, especially when emphasized by Jourgensen's tone. The vocalist, uncredited on the album, is one Trent Reznor. For industrial fanatics, it's like hearing John Lennon sing with Keith Richards.

Anthrax for Bobby Digital

My office comrade, Bobby Digital (no, not that one), got to see Anthrax play Jimmy Fallon. Right as I was congratulating him, he described the event the way that Jesse Helms would probably describe an Anthrax show. No surprise there--Anthrax aren't a band that inspires a lot of indifference. But Bobby D also enjoys Iron Maiden and Metallica, so I sought to give him an audio discourse on New York's greatest metal band.



Anthrax for Bobby Digital

1. Bring the Noise
2. Only
3. Antisocial
4. Got the Time
5. Caught in a Mosh
6. Hy Pro Glo (Al Jourgensen remix)
7. Inside Out
8. What Doesn't Die
9. Among the Living
10. Cadillac Rock Box
11. Taking the Music Back
12. Think About an End
13. I'm the Man
14. Madhouse
15. I am the Law
16. Fueled
17. Refuse to be Denied
18. Metal Thrashing Mad (John Bush version)

One look at Anthrax for Bobby Digital gives me away. I am a John Bush fan. In most circles, that's like saying you prefer Van Hagar, but the fact is that Anthrax were at best with John Bush's growls and not Joey Belladonna's mewls.

Of course, the Joey period is their most popular, and there are plenty of killer songs. "Caught in a Mosh" and Madhouse" should be in any metalhead's collection. Anthrax caught up to their peers in the Big Four by rapping ("Bring the Noise," "I'm the Man,") covering new wave ("Got the Time") and telling jokes (S.O.D.) better than any other metal band. "I'm the Man" has got to be the deftest rap parody outside of Fear of a Black Hat, and "Antisocial" reinvents hard rock as punk rock, but their signature is "Bring the Noise," a perfect rap-metal bridge to Public Enemy that took both bands to their peak while paving the way for Rage Against the Machine and the Judgement Night soundtrack. I like it more than "Walk This Way."

But if Anthrax spent the Reagan Era in the shadow of Slaygadeth, they caught up with John Bush's debut on Sound of White Noise. "Only" and "Hy Pro Glo" deliver a TKO punch to mid-'90s grunge, and "Fueled" earns its Bukowski reference by sounding like it was sung by him. "Inside Out" scores with their best video (because it re-enacts a Twilight Zone episode) and their most ripping solo (because Dimebag Darrell plays it.)

Best of all though is We've Come for You All, their jaw-dropping 2003 comeback, where, amidst the worst publicity of their lifetime (we hope,) Scott Ian and the gang roared back to show the world who the real Anthrax is. From the zombie anthem "What Doesn't Die" to the rifftastic "Cadillac Rock Box" to the all-time heaviest "Think About an End" and beyond, Anthrax claimed the best Big Four record in the past decade. Not that it paid off commercially, but nothing more can be expected from metal's greatest team of underdogs.

Finally, I've alerted you to appearances by Al Jourgensen, Dimebag Darrell and Public Enemy. See if you can find Roger Daltrey.

Download here: Anthrax for Bobby Digital