Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Six Worst Mother's Day Songs

Mother's Day mixes are as much fun to make as they are to listen to, mainly for rediscovering the trove of great songs that would be terrible for the final playlist. Some of these songs are better than ones that made the cut, just not the kind of music that I'd dedicate to Ma Apatoff. One day these will get their own mix CD, but until then, here are the six worst Mother's Day songs.

Body Count, "Momma's Gotta Die Tonight"

Body Count's first LP is the Scarface of metal--too over the top to take seriously (no matter what Dan Quayle says) and somehow enduring. Ice-T's monologue is about four minutes too long, yet the song would be much worse without it.

Guns N' Roses, "Mama Kin"

Want to make it to hard rock stardom? Put "Mama Kin" on your first record--it worked for Aerosmith and Guns N' Roses. GNR improve on the original by picking up speed and removing the sucksophone, giving us a Stonesy rocker that might actually work on a Mother's Day mix, if not for Axl's introduction.

Mastodon, "Mother Puncher"

I love hearing Mastodon throw all their weight into a progression that plays like it's about to sweep your feet out from under you. From the sound of this song, a mother puncher is a hurricane at sea.

Misfits, "Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?"

"May I?"

Suicidal Tendencies, "I Saw Your Mommy"

"...and your mommy's dead." The second-most popular song from ST's first and best album is a gleeful exercise in good taste. In high school I put this on a mix for a girl, and learned to never do that again. 

Queen, "Tie Your Mother Down"

Proof that if not for all that ambition, Queen would've made a pretty great AC/DC. And that Freddie Mercury and Brian May can make anything sound like fun.

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