Blind Guardian, "Carry the Blessed Home"

12 Days to Find a Home



Chris Weingarten once wrote of today's music critics having "fairly pronounced predispositions for anything that reminds us of the golden-era hip-hop and grunge-era alternative rock of our youth (probably why we've been championing Killer Mike and Japandroids, respectively)." I understand and play into that sentiment, as a fan of both of those artists, but metal is different to me. As much as I enjoy neo-thrash bands like Skeletonwitch, Warbringer and Municipal Waste, I never feel much desire to listen to them when I already have the Big Four. I prefer metal bands to honor their heroes with innovation rather than imitation--to my ears, the Dillinger Escape Plan pays more tribute to Metallica than Machine Head does.

Likewise, you can keep your DragonForce and your Nightwish as long as I get to keep Blind Guardian. For about 30 years, these German badasses have been updating the Priest and Maiden formulas with more speed, pomp and symphony, complete with the songs to make it work. Most of their songs seem to be inspired by Valhalla and/or Tolkien, but "Carry the Blessed Home" is a wonderful piece of bombast that turns Stephen King's Dark Tower series into Legend of Zelda music from Asgard. If that doesn't sound up your alley, there's always the Decemberists.

Metal and Moby Dick

Of the Great American Novels, Moby Dick is by far the most metal. Blood Meridian comes in second, and plenty of metal bands owe more to Naked Lunch, For Whom the Bell Tolls or The Stand. But as far as transcendent, irrefutably classic required reading goes, nothing comes close to matching metal's brutality, integrity, ambition and scope as Herman Melville's masterpiece. When trying to describe Moby Dick, I find myself using much of the same language that I use to describe Master of Puppets. The book certainly shares more adjectives with Metallica's creative output than F. Scott Fitzgerald's.

1. Led Zeppelin, "Moby Dick"

The best-known metal tribute to Moby Dick is the first one, the penultimate track on Led Zeppelin's second album (their most metal record, with "Whole Lotta Love," "Heartbreaker" and their best songs about The Lord of the Rings.) It's generally remembered as John Bonham's signature, and some less discerning Zeppelin fans would direct you to a live version first, where Bonham's drum solos could go on for up to 30 minutes. In person, it must have been mind-blowing, but on record you're still best off with the original, a hard-charging instrumetal (sic) that speaks to Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones' talents just as well as Bonzo's. Had they never met Robert Plant, Zeppelin would've been a mighty power trio.



2. Mastodon, Leviathan

Following up the most promising metal debut of the 21st century with a concept album about Moby Dick sounded like the kind of audacious career-killer that bands aren't supposed to make until at least album number five or six. But with Leviathan, Mastodon rewrote the novel as their own magnum opus, sharing a place claimed by Herman Melville for over 150 years. Succeeding where film and TV adaptations failed, Mastodon honored Melville's prose in songs like "Seabeast," "I am Ahab" and "Iron Tusk," while putting their own original stamp on the story with pulverizing riffage and a game-changing drummer. There has never been a more laudable book-to-album adaptation in modern music, metal or otherwise.



3. Demons and Wizards, "Beneath These Waves"

Wearing their Zeppelin influence on their gauntlets, Demons and Wizards covered "Immigrant Song," cited Lord of the Rings and sang of Moby Dick on their 2005 album, Touched by the Crimson King. If Hansi Kürsch (Blind Guardian) and Jon Schaffer (Iced Earth) didn't quite match Ahab's insanity in this first-person narrative, they definitely conveyed the doggedness and conviction, quoting the captain himself as "madness maddened."



4. Ahab, The Call of the Wretched Sea

German doom metal band Ahab took not just their name but their entire first album from Moby Dick, adapting nearly all of their lyrics from Melville's book. Of course the band rendered said lyrics irrelevant by burying them in death growls and a muddy mix, but that may have been their most Melville-inspired move at all--keeping its mythical beast lurking below.



5. Sodom, "Tribute to Moby Dick"

10 years after Waldo's sonar cries in the "Hot for Teacher" video and 10 years before Gojira pleaded for the whales on "Ocean Planet," Germany's Sodom based an entire song on whale echolocation sounds. Someone probably should have reminded them that sperm whales don't squeak like that (humpbacks do,) but maybe that fact was lost in the German translation. It's still a good song.

Metal Goes to the Movies

My mom sent me this post from Adult Swim's web site about covers of classic movie and TV show themes found on the internet. The whole article is worth a read and listen, but here's a sample for you headbangers:

Back to the Future

The soaring progressions of the Back to the Future theme (performed by someone calling himself russfuckingallen) lend themselves perfectly to a power metal interpretation. The instruments are clearly programmed, which makes me hope that someone (hopefully Blind Guardian and not Dragonforce) covers it live, but it's still a fun listen. Favorite YouTuber comment: "eardrums? where we're going, we don't need eardrums."



Halloween

Secret Chief 3's cover is more imaginative, but I like how this guy CeatBeat arranged it, despite his silly accompanying video. Still easily the best theme that a director ever wrote for his own movie.