King Diamond, "Welcome Home"

15 Days to Find a Home



Every now and then I hear a child screaming for his or her grandma, and it always reminds me of "Welcome Home." One wouldn't think that high-pitched screams of "Grandma!" could make a definitive black metal song, but King Diamond sells it as only he could.

There's some concept about King's mentally ill grandmother on Them, the album which hosts "Welcome Home." I've never managed to figure out the rest of the story since I can't listen to more than a few King Diamond songs in a row (unless it's at a King Diamond show, which everyone should experience at least once--where else can you see someone play air guitar with a crucifix?). But King Diamond's music is supposed to be grating, even to ears that are usually attuned to metal. It's a one-joke shtick, but a small dose of it is funny enough to be worth multiple visits. It's also consistent and universal enough to be the best running joke in Clerks 2.