Beasties for Kindergarten

Not enough classroom teachers play music for their students. When they do, it's nearly always the Beatles, Michael Jackson or sometimes Bob Marley. Maybe One Direction these days, if we're counting fake music. Why is it never the Beastie Boys?



Christine used to teach elementary schoolers with me, and currently runs a kindergarten class that addresses her with a prefix. During our time teaching together, she was always patient with my need to drop a few verses of "Sure Shot" or "So What'cha Want" into the lesson plans, so I'm thanking her and acknowledging her birthday in one swoop.

Beasties for Kindergarten

1. "Fight For Your Right to Party"
2. "No Sleep Till Brooklyn"
3. "Paul Revere"
4. "Brass Monkey"
5. "Shake Your Rump"
6. "Hey Ladies"
7. "Shadrach"
8. "Pass the Mic"
9. "So What'cha Want"
10. "Sure Shot"
11. "Root Down"
12. "Sabotage"
13. "Intergalactic"
14. "Body Movin'"
15. "3 MC's & 1 DJ"

Children deserve better than to have Kidz Bop or Glee inflicted on them.

I can almost understand some authority figures never getting over their initial, Licensed to Ill-era taste of the Beasties, but in 2012 it's hard to hear them as the menaces that they used to play on TV. Even the most tasteless lyrics and heaviest loops sound playful. Of course, not all of it is for children. No kindergartener has the attention span for Ill Communication or the maturity for To the 5 Boroughs, hence a simple mix tape of hits instead of a more thorough sample from one of the most impeccable discographies in music history. But can anyone with a pulse resist the beat and rhymes of songs like "Hey Ladies," "Intergalactic" or "Brass Monkey?" Maybe the kids could have a dance off to "Shake Your Rump" or "Body Movin'," or a party to--never mind.

Happy birthday, Christine.