Portraits of the Artists as Young Bands

1. The Melvins, "War on Wisdom"

This video for the Melvins' killer new track features the band members as children, rocking out in a garage and attacking school authorities with squirt guns. It makes me smile and wonder if that's what the war on wisdom really is, but more so it reminds me of my other favorite videos of bands represented by their childhood counterparts.



2. Pantera, "Revolution is My Name"

Just like the rest of us, Pantera were once a bunch of crazy kids who loved to rock. Of course they were all jumping on their beds, donning KISS makeup, driving their parents nuts and growing full beards in elementary school, as this video proves.



3. Megadeth, "No More Mr. Nice Guy"

Megadeth shot the video for this Alice Cooper cover while reportedly too intoxicated to sing and play their instruments at the same time. The titular character, seen here as "Lil' Dave," gets mean enough to skateboard in front of old ladies. If only they knew that he'd grow up to be a right-wing bigot.



4. King's X, "King"

Usually I can heap praise upon King's X without posting this saccharine video about mulleted kids fighting racism. Today that is not the case, but I'll tolerate it with the knowledge that these boys grew up to write awesome songs like this one.



5. Van Halen, "Hot for Teacher"

Boyhood Eddie, David, Michael and Alex join their classmate Waldo in maybe the greatest music video ever made. Conservative columnist John Lofton compared this video's morals to Adolf Hitler in a Crossfire debate, while Frank Zappa argued that it was "amusing." I can't decide which endorsement I like more.