Appreciating Ted Nugent with an asterisk

It's hard for any relatively well-informed music fan to say "I like Ted Nugent" and leave it at that. The kindest thing anyone seems able to say is, "He's a jackass but I still like his music." "That jackass made music?" is close behind, a distant third being, "Who?" For someone who's music's been inarguably irrelevant since the Carter administration, the Nuge can still spark quite a debate on the rare occasions that his name comes up.


Nugent is a despicable human being. He's entitled to be a right-winger, but the fact that he's also a chickenhawk who applauds sending troops into Iraq while boasting of his draft dodging antics in the '60s (don't look up how he did it, you'll be sorry) is inexcusable. Couple that with his tendency to eschew the "cowardly, irresponsible lifestyle of random sex and life-destroying drugs" from his bible-thumping high horse, while a court orders him to pay child support for his numerous illegitimate kids. Factor in his recent hate-comments regarding Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and even the late Dimebag Darrell, and this family values spokesman sounds like the most egregious creep to ever pick up a six-string. I can't really argue with that.

So why am I wasting your time with Ted Nugent? Because like many great musicians, writers, filmmakers and painters, Nugent is an awful person and a great artist. While not in the upper echelon of hard rock with AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Motörhead and Van Halen, Nugent has his share of awesome tunes. He's a monumentally gifted axeman with frontman chops to boot, like Brian Johnson and Angus Young, David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen, Ozzy and Tony Iommi roled into one high voltage showman. Over the top, charismatic and cartoonish, the Motor City Madman backed it all up with licks that captured hard rock's blues sensibilities and virtuosity like few who came before him. His spontaneous, unhinged playing and songwriting don't make him the most consistent musician, but no hard rock enthusiast should be without a Ted Nugent Greatest Hits CD. Especially if it has the following:

"Stranglehold"



Never did hard rock have such a smooth, soulful groove until this 8-minute classic. A hypnotic progression with a climactic buildup into an epic proto-metal jam which, to this day, doesn't sound like much else you'll hear on classic rock radio.

"Journey to the Center of Your Mind"



Nugent is respected as a hard rock pioneer, but his work in '60s garage band the Amboy Dukes has also inspired generation upon generation of punks, hipsters, stoners and eccentrics to pick up vintage instruments and play stripped-down, blues-inspired rock n' roll. Fellow Detroit native Jack White was taking notes.

"Free-for-All"



This song just rocks without abandon. Nugent pulls hooks out of the filthiest part of his mind and peppers in a bawdy yarn about looking for action. Aerosmith would forfeit their Wayne's World 2 cameo to call this song their own.

"Cat Scratch Fever"



The crowning achievement of the Nuge. An indisputable hard rock staple that will get your parents to headbang inadvertently, cause your best friend to grudgingly overlook Nugent's politics and sound unbelievable when your kid brother plays it at full blast. Bonus: Check out Pantera's excellent cover, from the soundtrack to the greatest film ever made.

"Paralyzed"



On some days I might pick "Homebound" or "Motor City Madhouse," but "Paralyzed" sounds perfect right about now. The instant sing-a-long chorus ("The lights are on, but there's nooo-body hooome") nearly defines the man, and that solo sounds so dangerous that I can't believe it ever got played on the radio.

So what happened? While the artistic decline may have been inevitable, Nugent can only blame himself for his waned popularity. Nostalgia acts like KISS will still sell out arenas, but as long as Uncle Ted insists on being a vehement dipshit, most of his few remaining fans won't support his crackpot ideals by buying CDs or concert tickets. Thus the Nuge is doomed to reality TV appearances, occasional guest spots on Sean Hannity and performing to sparse crowds at county fairs.

At least we got some good tunes out of him.