The hole truth and nothing butt

The Butthole Surfers' July 29 show at Webster Hall will be remembered for security ejecting Gibby Haynes from the venue, prematurely ending the set and causing a near-riot. However, the hour or so before that was a pretty great show from one of the most infamous alternative bands ever.

Opening were Paul Green's School of Rock All-Stars, who played a few shows with lead Butthole Gibby Haynes earlier this year. The kids, who performed with Yes' Jon Anderson and KISS' Paul Stanley before their unlikely Surfers team-up, performed an array of excellent songs, including King Crimson's "21st-Century Schizoid Man," Frank Zappa's "Zomby Woof," Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" and Metallica's "Motorbreath," each song getting the skillful and hard-rocking rendition it deserved. Musicians that were still too young to drink were the world's best bar band that evening, capturing the filthiness of AC/DC on "Whole Lotta Rosie" and the Jackson 5's energy on "ABC." I hope to see a headlining set sometime.

The next band had a long name, weird costumes and not one second of interesting music. The only memorable moment came when one of their singers tried three different mics onstage before realizing that none of them were working. It was a sign of things to come.

Without dimming the lights first or building the suspense with entrance music, the Buttholes' abrupt entrance was the first of many surprises that night. Lead singer Gibby Haynes, alternating between his signature "Gibbytronix" voice changer and a bullhorn, started with the bizarro, molestation tale dronefest "22 going on 23" and got weirder from there. The goofy, pseudo-blues "Moving to Florida" saw all its samples and interludes enlivened by the band, which nailed every eccentricity from the. The songs resembled their LP-counterparts structurally, but took on a smoother flow thanks to guitarist Paul Leary and bassist Jeff Pinkus, while Gibby provided most of the night's improv.

In what could probably be taken to court as child abuse, School of Rock musicians joined the band on songs like "I Saw an X-Ray of a Girl Passing Gas." While the proficient kids lacked the headliners' impulsiveness, they played the songs well and added spectacle, especially on a version of "Sweat Loaf" that included a synchronized dance. The song's spoken, Gibbytronix intro of a father plausibly corrupting his son was appropriate for the scene, and after a few minutes of Gibby ad-libs, he got down to the most famous quote in Surfer history: "Well son, a funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done. And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend, will you be sure and tell her--SATAN!SATAN!SATAN!" The twisted Black Sabbath riff kicked in while Gibby ranted and wailed. It became perfectly clear how of one this band's performances helped push Daniel Johnston off the deep end.

As is legend at Surfers shows, footage dismemberments, surgeries and genital disfigurement graced the screen behind the band while they performed. However, it didn't seem too ghastly in context, especially considering how hard it was to concentrate on anything other than the band. The Surfers avoided their more conventional late-'90s material (including their sole hit, "Pepper,") but some of their soundscape-pushing material on albums like Independent Worm Saloon, Locust Abortion Technician and Hairway to Steven have catchier choruses than anything on Electriclarryland. It was further proof that the four men and one woman behind one of the most incomparable rock bands in history are in on something that the rest of us are never going to get.

In hindsight, the Surfers didn't play many of their best songs, including "Creep in the Cellar," "Lady Sniff," "Human Cannonball" and "Hurdy Gurdy Man." For a band that's been accused of drug-induced inconsistency on their studio albums, they were unable to fit all their great songs into set with no weak spots. It's very probable that we would have heard more of the Surfers' awesomeness, had the set not been cut short.

During early-'80s punkabilly gem "Gary Floyd," Gibby darted stage left to confront the house soundman about the vocals and guitar cutting out. When that didn't change anything, it appeared to this viewer that Gibby heaved the contents of a half-full beer bottle in the perp's direction, causing two enormous security guards to grab Gibby and escort him offstage. Gibby smiled and waved goodbye, leaving Leary to efficiently lead the band through "The Shah Sleeps in Lee Harvey's Grave" before the band took off. The crowd's chants of "Gibby!" and "One more!" turned into venomous cries of "Bullshit!" and "Fuck Webster Hall!" Plastic cups flew, boos filled the air and Surfers' notoriety went up another notch. Reports have been conflicting (a security guard told me that the band had simply gone on past the venue's curfew,) but here's what Leary had to say.

'I'm still sorting them out in my head.. The first thing I'd like to point out is that all these references to the "sound man" are actually references to the Webster Hall house stage monitor engineer, not our actual sound man. Our sound man Kevin has done an outstanding job. During sound check, there was a major problem with feedback in one (or both) of Gibby's vocal microphones. Kevin had to come on stage after sound check and used an equalizer to correct the problem. After the show, he observed that his corrections had been bypassed for the show. If it feeds back on stage, there is no way to turn up vocals in the room. The monitor engineer did nothing to fix the feedback, his most important function for the job he was being paid to do.

This should have been a better show. Gibby was totally on top of his game. His wife was in the audience, and tons of friends. It must have been heartbreaking to have that guy shit on his performance and do nothing to fix it. Near the end of the set, during "Gary Floyd", I looked over and see Gibby yelling at the guy, who responds by turning all stage monitors off completely. Gibby did not hit or bottle the guy. I heard the stage manager from across the hall thought that he had, and ordered him removed. We had another song or two to play before "Shah", so we just went straight into that. Our set ends there anyway. I think the house lights didn't come on, and the audience really stuck around for more. The kids SOR kids were evacuated. I went to the Beauty Bar and felt nothing but love.'