Still Ozzy after all these years

Part of what makes Ozzy Osbourne so brilliant is that he never seems to be trying.


Countless dime-a-dozen shock-rockers play up their drug use or swear by satanism in hopes of becoming antihero #1, but Ozzy could care less about striking fear into the hearts of authority figures. His Black Sabbath bandmates disapproved of way Ozzy disrupted their seriousness with his energetic performances, and while Ozzy's peers professed to be the baddest, the toughest or the scariest metal gods in existence, Ozzy reflected on his insecurity and mortality in songs like 'I Don't Know' and 'Road to Nowhere.' When being interviewed for metal documentary The Decline of Western Civilization, most hair-metal nitwits begged to be shown partying in their mansions, drenching themselves in alcohol or surrounded by groupies. Ozzy allowed himself to be interviewed at home, unguarded, cooking eggs and pouring orange juice. His well-documented wildman antics surpass the unruliest rock stars, but Ozzy has constantly been apologetic and even bashful for all his hellraising. Like Dracula or the Wolfman, Ozzy seems like a well-meaning soul possessed by an otherworldly force that takes over whenever he sings 'Over the Mountain' or 'Diary of a Madman.' To paraphrase a song on Ozzmosis, Ozzy's Jekyll didn't Hide at his headlining show at Madison Square Garden.


But before we get to Ozzy, let's discuss Rob Zombie. One of the greatest filmmakers (regardless of genre) and one of the greatest metal acts in the world today, Rob Zombie is also one of the most dynamic showman that you will ever see onstage. Preceded by a big screen showing of his coming attraction segment from Grindhouse, Rob Zombie took the stage in all his campy glory. Flanked by props that looked like they'd been stolen from a horror convention, dancing girls who looked like (from afar) Sheri Moon Zombie, and arguably the best band of his career, it was as theatrical as metal gets. Within minutes of Zombie's entrance, the arena was almost entirely on their feet, flashing horns and applauding Zombie's every move as his signature growl rolled around the arena.

Zombie's shortened set ensured that we heard the créme de la créme from his storied, 20+ year career. The fantastic 'Living Dead Girl' was an early highlight of his set, and the title tracks from his first two films, 'House of 1,000 Corpses' and 'The Devil's Rejects' provided the show's eeriest moments. 'Thunder Kiss '65' was dusted off from his days as an underground star with White Zombie, and the frantic 'Superbeast' and the seething 'Red, Red Kroovy' got some of the night's best shout-alongs. Quite possibly the best dancer in metal today, Zombie pranced all over the stage, ran through the front row and flailed his arms with Mick Jagger-esque rhythm. Unsurprisingly, he got a little winded during 'More Human than Human,' but he never slowed down, taking a quick breath while he handed the mic to some lucky devotees. Zombie was always on top of his game, and he bellowed out the song's final chorus over deafening applause.



My favorite bit of Zombie banter came near the end of his set. "These seats here," began the incredulous Zombie, pointing in the direction of me and my cohort, "make no sense at all!" Thanks, Rob--maybe the MSG folks will think about that the next they sell tickets for the seats almost behind the stage.

Could anyone have stolen the show from Zombie, it was guitarist John 5, who tossed off his nastiest slide guitar licks with almost as much energy as the frontman. Zombie's music is a little below the albino-faced guitar hero's playing ability, and that gave John a chance to put the most into his performance, swinging around his instrument while running all over the stage space. Thankfully, he was given a spot to solo, and he unleashed a barrage of fretboard magic that included a few measures of 'Eruption' and of course, the Jimi Hendrix version of our National Anthem.

As the last chorus of 'Dragula' ended Zombie's set, he led the crowd in a chant of 'Zombie! Zombie!' that he would have certainly gotten even if he didn't instigate it. There are only a few people who can give the most iconic metal god in history a run for his money, and the former Robert Cummings is one of them.



Following Rob Zombie is a daunting task for anyone, but Ozzy was up for it. The lights dimmed, and a projected video showed Ozzy appearing in and interacting in Borat, 'The Sopranos,' and similar settings as our hero worked his way to the stage. 'Camina Burana' signaled the formal introduction, and the jolliest old man to ever defile a national monument let his instantly recognizable voice ring out over the venue. The band launched into 'I Don't Want to Stop,' the indisputable highlight of Ozzy's forgettable new album, and the Prince of Darkness jumped up and down, flailing his arms and screaming for the crowd to scream along.

"I love you people!" Ozzy cackled. "Are you ready to go crrAAAAAZZZZYYYY?" The intro to 'Crazy Train,' which is as strong a case for Ozzy being incarcerated as some of his misdemeanors, drove the entire arena into a frenzy. Years of heavy substance abuse, Parkinson's, and most recently a life-threatening ATV accident have taken their toll on Ozzy, who's not as fast or as animated as the guy who inspired scores of protests lawsuits in '80s and '90s. But he's willfully forfeited his place as the scariest rock star in the world, and he seems comfortable being a cheerful old rock icon. It'd be self-parodying for Ozzy to carry on like Watain or Berzerker, so Ozzy playfully threw buckets of water on the front row, shot what looked like whip cream out of a hose, and talked more like he was throwing a party than performing satanic metal. "I can't HEAR YOU!" Ozzy wailed to the crowd. He yelled the phrase so much over the night that I believe he seriously couldn't hear us, but thankfully we could hear him, whether he was recanting the controversial 'Suicide Solution' or conjuring the protagonist of 'Mr. Crowley.' During the lycanthropic masterpiece 'Bark at the Moon,' he encouraged everyone to howl, turning his tale of depravity in an almost charming singalong. Somehow, it worked.



Throughout his solo career, Ozzy's band has been a revolving door of first-rate musicians, and tonight's lineup included Faith No More's Mike Bordin and Rob Zombie's Blasko. But the star was unquestionably lead guitarist Zakk Wylde, Ozzy's longtime first mate whose metal attitude and virtuoso-level musicianship are only matched by his undying loyalty and respect for Ozzy (going as far as naming his son 'John Michael,' after you-know-who's real name). Wylde's guitar god skills are better showcased with Ozzy than with Wylde's own project, Black Label Society, and Ozzy's partner in crime was granted a solo that brought out his hard rock and southern rock influences, along with his metal innovations and the pinch harmonics that make Wylde one of the most distinct guitarists in the world. As if to compete with John 5, Wylde also ended his piece with 'The Star Spangled Banner,' and a testament to Wylde's ability was that he could make the song sound fresh even after we'd just heard it. Call it sacrilege, but Randy Rhoads would be hard-pressed to come up with a better guitar show.

Ozzy returned ("ZakkfukkinWylde!! People! Louder! I can't HEAR YOU!!") and launched into "I Don't Want to Change the World," one of the best songs of his almost 40-year-career and one that perfectly suits his image as the reluctant badass. "Don't you try and teach me no original sin/I don't need your pity for the shape I'm in," bellowed Ozzy, "I don't want to change the world/I don't want the world to change me!" Amidst his most belligerent material, Ozzy still came through as metal's answer to Ferdinand the Bull. Not bad for a guy who'd lose just about any game of 'Never have I ever.'



Encoring with the reflective 'Mama, I'm Coming Home' and the raging 'Paranoid,' Ozzy showcased the diversity of his career with arguably his two best-known songs. Performing rock staples that couldn't be further apart stylistically, it was like watching Ozzy's bad-boy past and respected present meet on the same stage, finally comfortable with each other. Fireworks shot out from the back of the stage as Ozzy and the band put their arms around each other for the final bow. Years ago, the fireworks would have been in Ozzy's behavior and not in the stage show, but Ozzy doesn't have to decapitate small animals or urinate publicly to put on a great show. He just has to be Ozzy, and that's a job he handles perfectly.