High on High on Fire

Of the handful of really, really great metal bands to emerge in the past decade, High on Fire are one of the very best. Founded by underground stoner metal icon Matt Pike after the dissolution of Sleep, High on Fire are louder, faster, and more concise than his previous band, adding elements of Celtic Frost, Venom, and particularly Motörhead, to Sleep's signature sound. Despite being clearly indebted to the NWOBHM, High on Fire's records sound very fresh, standing out amongst Nu-Metal clowns and Neo-Power Metal bombast just as Slayer were a welcome alternative to the Scorpions. High on Fire's new album, Death is this Communion, is thunderclap-heavy, lightning-paced, and best of all, pretty identical to the past few High on Fire records, save for a few instrumental interludes, some less-muddy production, and slightly proggier songs. Over-the-top compositions are given minimal arrangements, grunge legend Jack Endino lends punk cred and a hand in production, and over eleven scorching tracks, Death is this Communion exhibits just about everything that's great about heavy metal. And like every really great metal band, High on Fire are even better live.

Pike, joined by longtime drummer Des Kensel and new bassist Jeff Matz, headlined the first-ever metal show at the new Williamsburg Music Hall (formerly North Six), and there could not have a better band to do so. Opening the show by storming through new thrasher 'Fury Whip,' High on Fire spent the rest of the night dousing the crowd with some of the gnarliest speed-metal that you're ever going to hear. Death is this Communion was heavily represented, and older, under-produced tracks like 'Eyes and Teeth' and 'Speedwolf' were given the vibrant, skull-crushing renditions that they always deserved. While High on Fire's punk sensibility keeps their songs from succumbing to prog-rock ostentatiousness, it also voids them of any sense of subtlety. By sheer speed, heaviness, and lyrics that read like H. P. Lovecraft writing for D & D, High on Fire can duke it out musically with any band in the world today.


Oakland native Pike has a distinctly English presence, in part from his cockney-sounding growls (sort like how Billie Joe Armstrong emulates Pete Shelley) and in part from his rotting teeth, but mainly from his inability to hide what a great time he's having onstage. Resembling many an early British-metal hero, the shirtless Pike was constantly mugging, grinning widely, and running around like a hyperactive kid, clearly having at least as much fun as the horns-flashing, headbanging fans. It's entirely plausible that Pike spent almost as much time imitating Cronos' stage banter and Lemmy's facial expressions in front of the mirror as he did practicing guitar in his youth, and outside of Andrew W.K., there may be no 21st-century metal hero who displays the joy of performing as well as Pike. During new album standout 'Rumors of War' and the follow-up, 'DII,' Pike sprung around like a one-man mosh pit, clearly relishing every growl, chord change, and head-bang as if he had just stepped out of Heavy Metal Parking Lot. Had he grown up near Maryland in the 1980's, he would've probably been a film star.

Coupled with the power of Matz and Kensel's rhythm section, the band never showed any sign of letting up all night. Matz' bass playing stays pretty much in key with Pike's Gibson, helping the band sound grimier than ever, and Kensel's furious, relentless drumming ensures that Pike never slows down or plays the same riff for too long. One has to see High on Fire to truly grasp their musical capabilities; it's impressive enough that they can follow the time signature changes of 'Turk' and 'Waste of Tiamat' on record, but it's most amazing to catch them nailing their instrumental duties while running around onstage like a bunch of kids.

Late in the night, Pike screamed the name of what is arguably his best song, 'Devilution,' and played it even faster and campier than the studio version. Having only one word in the chorus, the drum-abusing opener to Blessed Black Wings is almost certainly High on Fire's best scream-along track, and Pike's hammer-on solo gave way to more of his Spinal Tap-esque theatrics, in a very good way. 'Devilution' was the last song that they played that night, putting High on Fire in a small group (alongside Lamb of God and the Melvins) of metal bands who don't play encores. Good call, guys--who needs pseudo-spontaneity in rock n' roll?

If you ever want to know why metal bands put on the best live shows in the world, go see High on Fire.

The opening acts were a worthy bunch--Coliseum proved themselves deserving of their place on Relapse Records with their Melvins-inspired din, and they were followed by Panthers, an energetic, highly entertaining bunch who clearly checked out all the bands that were covered on Garage Days Re-Revisited, tellingly ending their set with 'Crash Course in Brain Surgery.' Japan's Mono, who seemingly brought in as many fans as the headliners, played spacey, ambient post-rock instrumentals which were often gripping, but also killer to the momentum that the previous bands created. Mono would likely have been more suited for a spot on this year's earlier Isis/Jesu/Torche tour.

How much does this song kick ass?

Underrated: King's X

Metal may be the most exciting, dangerous, and gratifying music in the world, and it may never get the respect that it deserves, but everyone seems to be OK with that. It's no surprise that Bon Jovi sells more records than Anthrax, and while most Anthrax fans probably wish it were the other way around, none of them are hoping that Anthrax will alter their sound in order to gain a huge audience. Thus, with very few exceptions, metal bands play clubs and smaller venues, and no one complains about it. (It's also good to remember that, like many good things, metal is far more popular in Europe and in South America than in the US). However, there are a few bands whose lack of mainstream success is absolutely baffling, and King's X are one of them.

Among (the living) metalheads, King's X are so-widely known for being underrated that they're almost perfectly rated, like a metal Kinks. However, despite being described on Allmusic.com as "criminally overlooked...for reasons unknown," and earning the top spot on the "Most Underrated" list in Daniel Bukszpan's Encyclöpedia öf Heavy Metal, King's X seem destined to toil in obscurity while Avenged Sevenfold tops the TRL Charts. They've won lavish praise from Vernon Reid, Scott Ian, Dimebag Darrell (who called them "the best power trio of all-time") and Howard Stern (who declared them the best performers at Woodstock '94), toured with AC/DC right after Razor's Edge was released, and still have barely made as much as a dent in in the public's consciousness. But for 20 years, bassist/vocalist Doug Pinnick, guitarist Ty Tabor, and drummer Jerry Gaskill have steadily been releasing heavy, catchy, technical, and consistently great music.



King's X borrow as much from the Beatles as they do from Motörhead and take as many cues from Rush as Sly & the Family Stone, successfully blending melody into hard rock in a way that few of their peers can. They're easily as accessible as Alice in Chains or Soundgarden, and while their instrumental prowess plays a huge role in the band's greatness, they never meander or get too proggy for their own good. Nearly all their songs are concise and radio-friendly, with an emphasis on hooks and harmonized vocals, but they're still edgy enough to earn them (temporarily) a place on Metal Blade records and tour dates with Motörhead. There's already a band called Beatallica, but that name might be more appropriate for King's X.

King's X also put on an absolutely spellbinding live show. Last year, they played to a mostly-empty room at BB King's in Times Square. They thrashed through their set with little to no breaks between songs, and their heavy focus on their newest album, Ogre Tones, proved it to be one of their very strongest. Pinnick gave a memorable mid-song rant about children being "the future of rock n' roll," and the band's musicianship and vocal harmonies seemed even tighter than on record. After King's X's encore, the small but devoted crowd screamed and cheered until the band played a genuinely spontaneous second encore. King's X pulled out the subtly stunning 'Goldilox' from their debut and basked in the crowd's adoration, smiling and enjoying the well-earned and all-too-rare fandom.



So why then are King's X so underrated? Are they too poppy for metalheads and too metal for mainstream audiences? Do they join Body Count, Fishbone and (save for one song) Living Colour in showing how difficult it is to get hard rock on the radio if it's made by black guys? King's X's spiritual lyrics have earned them the unenviable 'Christian Rock' label, despite Tabor's protests, but their lyrics are no more spiritual than U2's. A few silly music videos and bad haircuts earned them the dreaded 'hair metal' brand, but Queensryche, who were similarly prog-inspired, managed to escape that.

To some folks, King's X's Christianity may not be jarring, but some of their 'Christian' values are--'Legal Kill' off of Faith, Hope, Love has been interpreted as a prolife anthem. Still, if people are willing to brush of the conservative ideals of James Brown and Ted Nugent since both of them kicked out some serious jams back when, folks should be easily able to enjoy King's X. Whatever their political takes may be, King's X certainly don't get any love from the religious right--certain establishments refused to stock their music after Pinnick outed himself in 1998. The metal community, which still puts Rob Halford on a mighty pedestal, could care less.



King's X's influence is not unnoticeable (any band that's used drop D tuning in the past 15 years probably worships them), but their commercial success is almost nonexistent. Which is pretty unfair for a band that rocks as hard as they do.

The Monster Lives

Excessive, charismatic, and unpredictable, Monster Magnet are one of the greatest forces in rock. By combining the early-'70s sounding psychedelic garage noise with the over-the-top hard rock, they ushered in today's stoner rock scene, a genre in which they still remain at the forefront. Their one remaining original member, Dave Wyndorf, is an unhinged wildman whose sex, drugs and science fiction mindset has provided the band with simple, catchy hooks and some of the best stream-of-consciousness lyrics that you're ever going to hear. On stage and on record, he carries on like the illegitimate metalhead son of Iggy Pop and Screamin' Jay Hawkins, and Monster Magnet's new album, 4-Way Diablo, confirms that Wyndorf is one of the most electrifying frontmen in rock history.

The album's title track, based on a Pixies-esque progression, is also the opener. While the psychedelic leads and Wyndorf's frantic vocals are all signature Magnet, it's for the most part a surprisingly subtle way to start a Monster Magnet album. Wyndorf survived a drug overdose in 2006--could it be that he lost some of his libido, belligerence, and screwball mentality in the process?

"Well I'm back!" Wyndorf bellows at the start of the raucous second track, 'Wall of Fire.' "I've got a cock made out of platinum! I got money comin' out of the sky!" Gotcha.


For the next hour or so, 4-Way Diablo touches on everything one would hope for in a Monster Magnet CD. From raging rockers like 'You're Alive' and 'Cyclone' to spacey stoner jams like 'A Thousand Stars' to the hypnotic, Arabian-flavored instrumental 'Freeze & Pixelate,' the album makes all the signature Monster Magnet stops, and makes it clear that the band has finally found the perfect balance between their droning space rock and their more brash cock-rock. Like former tourmates Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson, Wyndorf is an unapologetic rock star, and his uncontrollable, outlandish persona blows up on 4-Way Diablo, ranting and howling comic book hallucinations like it's the gospel. His songs are not always as indelible as his persona, but the band is solid and versatile enough to make everything sound great while it's happening. Guitarist Ed Mundell, bassist Jim Baglino, and drummer Bob Pantella, all of whom deserve credit for putting in much of their work while Wyndorf was recovering last year, provide all the right noise to capture Wyndorf's dirty rock fantasies on record. In exchange, Wyndorf provides them with enough memorable tunes to make the record a success.

Unsurprisingly for a band so rooted in their influences, Monster Magnet are a killer cover band (their takes on 'Evil is Going On' and 'Kick Out the Jams' compete with the originals), and 4-Way Diablo is graced with a bizarre, chamberlin and fuzz-bass heavy version of the Rolling Stones' '2000 Light Years from Home.' It is utterly hypnotic, and one of their best covers to date. But for a band that's so deeply rooted in the past, Monster Magnet are clearly focusing on the future. This is their first album since 1995 to not feature a re-recorded version of an older Magnet tune, and the album is paced so that it gets better as it goes along. The slide-heavy 'Solid Gold' is one of their best tunes, and the one-two ending of the skull-crushing 'Slap in the Face' and the Leonard Cohen-worthy 'Little Bag of Gloom' is nothing short of inspired. Wyndorf has stated that he still has much to record, given the time he took off between records, and from 4-Way Diablo it sounds like he's back in the saddle, and the best is yet to come.

Monster Magnet absolutely smokes live--observe...

A 'Bronx' Tale

The Bronx’s performance at Webster Hall on September 8 was extremely impressive. The band seamlessly blended Queens of the Stone Age’s groove with Black Flag’s hardcore sensibilities, resulting in a loud, melodic show. The energetic band, who reign from Los Angeles, were both potent and entertaining onstage, and served as perfect openers for Mastodon and Converge. Pleased at having found a great new band, I picked up a copy of their most recent effort, The Bronx, their major-label debut on Island/Def Jam.

The album opened with a fake instrumental and a quick thrasher, the total time of both tracks clocking in at under two minutes. Then at track three the album picked up, with James Tweedy’s chugging bassline leading into the frantic, fast-paced “Shitty Future.” Sounding like a Nick Oliveri-written QOTSA track, the song is indisputably the album highlight. The disposable lyrics are practically irrelevant—this is, after all a genre in which Lemmy Kilmister is at the forefront—and singer Matt Caughthran’s yelping delivery is more than enough to compensate.

The rest of the album is not as good as it should be—the first half features too may throwaways, and the second half loses steam quickly. Running at just over 30 minutes, there’s not enough killer to overcome the filler. Cliched lyrics and stolen riffs can work wonders in rock n’ roll, but they bog down Bronx songs like “Safe Passage” and “White Guilt” leaving the listener with a bad taste. “Transsexual Blackout” and “Rape Zombie” aren’t nearly as good as their names indicate, and much of the time the band sounds as if they don’t know whether to stay true to their hardcore roots or make an accessible major label album. One or the other would be fine, but for now the band sounds confused.

The Bronx is definitely a kicking live act, and part of that may have stemmed from beefing up their sound to be a more appropriate opener for Mastodon and Converge. But until they bring that focus to their records, they won’t be turning heads the way their headliners have been.

The Melvins are Awesome

Over 20 years into their career, the Melvins are still one of the most idiosyncratic bands in rock. Too sludgy for most people checking in on Blabbermouth religiously, and too aggressive for most people who'll buy whatever Pitchfork gives a 9, The Melvins have never really found the audience that they deserve, despite being vital to the greatest rock movement of the past 20 years and earning Kurt Cobain's most enthusiastic endorsement. Led by iconoclastic guitarist Buzz "King Buzzo" Osbourne and grunge drum legend Dale Crover, the Melvins have run through a slew of bassists, record labels, side projects, and stylistic changes to get to where they are today--unleashing some of the best music being made today and featuring bass and extra drumming from one of metal's most exciting new bands--the monolothic Seattle duo Big Business. As proven last week at the Irving Plaza, now is as great a time as ever to see the Melvins.


As with last year's Melvins tour, Big Business served as both openers and rhythm section for the headliners, going far beyond the call of duty in both jobs. Playing almost all of their 2007 thrash fest Here Come the Waterworks, bassist Jarred Warren and drummer Coady Willis thoroughly rocked the house, with the addition of a talented if semi-superfluous guitarist. Perhaps the band just wanted to show that their powerhouse can overwhelm just about anything that comes in their way. Overwhelm they did--"Hands Up" and "Just as the Day was Dawning" hit like a cinder block to the head, while "Grounds for Divorce" and "Start Your Digging" sounded like catchy rock songs buried in relentless drumming and fuzz-heavy bass. Amidst the noisy barrage, it was always clear that Big Business have some really rockin' songs. "I'll Give You Something to Cry About" sounded like the result of a brawl between Lemmy and Shane McGowan (coincidentally the two ugliest guys in music history?), and the masterful "Another Fourth of July Ruined" boasts a Jimmy Chamberlain-esque drum buildup and one of Big Business' most memorable tunes. Dale Crover added some guitar parts near the end of their set, but by then it was already obvious that Ween and Local H have some serious competition for the 'best duo in rock' title.

Big Business returned to the stage, flanked by Crover and King Buzzo, and the Melvins tore through a set that was utterly devoid of any breaks between songs, stage banter, lulls, or predictability. A few minutes into the show, they had already rendered one of the best known songs of all time almost unrecognizable and subjected the crowd to lesser-known Bullhead standout 'It's Shoved,' getting progressively louder and weirder as the show went on. The two drummers created a blaring wall of noise that nearly stole the show from King Buzzo, whose Sideshow Bob-meets-Eraserhead hairdo makes him a particularly awesome headbanger.

Houdini, a standout record from the Melvins' almost inexplicable (and unsurprisingly brief) major-label run in the mid-'90s, was recently recognized by All Tomorrow's Parties as a classic in their 'Don't Look Back' series. Now that Houdini has been given its overdue canonization, the Melvins played only one song from it, which was also the only number played from their entire run on Atlantic Records. Instead, they chose to play almost all of last year's (A) Senile Animal. Playing their latest release instead of their best-known material is a well-known taboo for veteran acts, and artists ranging from Neil Young to Iron Maiden have come under fire for doing so. Never ones to play by the rules, the Melvins tore through Senile Animal almost in its entirety, bringing the album's distorted, percussion-heavy onslaught of noise to full life.

The risk paid off--the new album sounded as grimy as their noisiest experiments, and even more unpredictable ('A History of Bad Men' may feature the first three-part harmony in the band's history). Few rock acts can claim to be making such great music so far into their career, but with A Senile Animal the Melvins released one of their best records, and one of the very best over all to be released in the past few years. With both drummers fully utilized and more time signature changes in the two-minute songs than the six-minute ones, the Melvins are either the least-punk punk band or the least-metal metal band, and they're still kicking the asses of almost every punk or metal band in the world today.

There are not many bands who could make an early classic from hard rock's original shock king sound like an old standard, but the Melvins did just that when they left the audience with an almost subdued take on Alice Cooper's 'The Ballad of Dwight Fry.' Coming from King Buzzo's unforgettable mug, it sounded like the last testament of a madman, and it was--there was no encore. But who would expect something as conventional as an encore at a Melvins show?

King Buzzo also rocks out in Fantomas, alongside fellow mavericks Mike Patton (Faith No More), Trevor Dunn (Mr. Bungle), and Dave Lombardo (Slayer). Here they are, assaulting one of the greatest albums of all time.

Megadeth Rules

If Megadeth's only show in your area is sold out, then go on Craigslist the day of the show and get tickets. If the closest show that they're playing is in Long Island, then take whatever public transportation is necessary to get there, no matter how many times you have to transfer via bus or train. If you're supposed to be at a wedding, funeral, or bar mitzvah on the day that Dave Mustaine, James LoMenzo, and Glenn & Shawn Drover come to town...I think you know where this is headed.



Megadeth's recent show at the Irving Plaza cemented their status as one of the best live bands in rock. Kicking things off with a blistering 'Sleepwalker,' Megadeth wasted no time in showing how vital they sound on their new album, the Slash-approved United Abominations. The sold-out crowd screamed every word of the chorus, and before it was over, the band was already tearing through the machine-gun guitar intro of 'Take No Prisoners,' instantly forcing the track into candidacy for greatest mosh-pit anthem ever as the fans pumped their fists and yelled back the call & response verses.

The two brutal openers set the pace for the rest of the show--several songs from the new album and the must-own Rust in Peace, peppered with metal staples and die-hard fan favorites. Newer tracks, especially Abominations standout 'Washington is Next' and 21st-century Megadeth's greatest moment, 'Kick the Chair,' all sounded strong next to classics like 'In My Darkest Hour' and 'Skin o' My Teeth,' and their sole hit ballad, 'A Tout Le Monde,' elicited as strong a response as any of the thrashers. Like most of their set, 'A Tout Le Monde,' sounded louder and faster live than it did on record, and it worked perfectly as a precursor to the blazing 'Tornado of Souls.'

Perhaps the show climaxed with their absolutely mind-blowing rendition of 'Hangar 18,' the UFO-themed epic which has recently enjoyed a Guitar Hero-inspired re-emergence in popularity. The song's bullet-paced second movement was highlighted by a series of dueling solos from Mustaine and Glen Drover, punctuated by a chugging progression which caused the crowd (this is the first time I've ever seen this happen) to chant the band's name in time over the instrumental main riff. Mustaine ended the shred-off, along with any doubts of his guitar-god status, by shredding out the piercingly high-pitched finale, bending over backwards and flailing his thick, orange-colored mane as his tremolo picking reached Eddie Van Halen territory. The band, technically some of the greatest that Mustaine has ever assembled, pushed themselves to keep up with him, and when Mustaine abruptly lept up to his full height to signal the end of the solo, one couldn't help but wonder: how bad did it get so that anyone would kick this guy out of their band?

Mustaine thanked the audience for putting up with his voice, which he claimed had been ravaged by a throat infection. Had he not said anything, no one would have been able to tell (hearing Mustaine sing with a cold is kind of like hearing Bob Dylan sing with a cold), but he probably just wanted to remind the fans that, dramatic as he may be, he wasn't about to pull a Morrissey. Whatever the case, the most damaged voices that night probably came from the audience, who screamed out the memorable choruses to 'Peace Sells' and 'Symphony of Destruction' with deafening enthusiasm. The fans' exuberance was wholly appropriate for such a remarkable metal event, and their energy level was perhaps only matched by that of the band, who were barely able to contain the excitement of taking part in one of metal's great legacies. Engaging the crowd and keeping Mustaine on his feet with their first-rate musicianship, the band made certain that as the last few words of 'Holy Wars' rang out at the Irving Plaza, everyone in the room knew that they had been part of something really great.

Openers In This Moment are notable for having a really great promoter, as the band has landed opening slots for Ozzy, Rob Zombie, and Megadeth without making any good music. The highlight of their set came when their bassist quoted a few bars of 'Symphony of Destruction.'

Megadeth have had some particularly great cinematic moments--their intelligent, thoughtful remarks and totally kick-ass music made them stars of The Decline of Western Civilization: The Metal Years. Keep in mind that most of the movie's interviewees act more like Chris Holmes of W.A.S.P...



One of the greatest moments in TV history...

Bone to Pick w/Rob Sheffield

Rob Sheffield is one of the rare music critics out there who isn't desperately trying to be Lester Bangs, reeking with snarky hipsterisms, or ignoring the music he writes about in favor of stories about his love life (or lack thereof.) I often get a kick out of his writing even when I strongly disagree with it. But he recently answered some questions on RollingStone.com, and there was one that I really couldn't ignore:

Who do you think is the most overrated band?

Metallica, definitely.

Excuse me? Overrated by whom? Apparently not your publication, which thought that "Baby One More Time" was more worthy of a spot on its recent "Songs that Changed the World" list than anything by any metal band, much less the most influential metal band of all time. Or that the Eagles were more deserving of a spot on the "100 greatest artists of all time" list than Metallica.

They have the right image, the right look, the right name, the right logo, the right attitude,

OK, you're on the right track...

so nobody really minds they have no songs,

Allmetallica.com/info/discography

no singers,

You don't need to be a great singer to have a great voice--Lou Reed, Ozzy Osbourne, and most good rappers all have trouble staying in key, but damned if they're not more compelling vocalists than Gary Cherone. That being said, anyone who thinks that James Hetfield can't sing should be subjected to his performance at the Freddie Mercury tribute concert. Or forced to listen to a Metallica CD.

no chops, no tunes, no beats, no riffs, no hooks,

Hetfield is one of the all-time greatest riff architects. Metallica's ability to incorporate tunefulness and irresistible hooks into the loudest, heaviest rock n' roll known up until that point played a pretty big role in making them the most universally respected metal band of all time. Also, Lars Ulrich may not be the greatest metal drummer ever, but he can certainly keep a good beat.

no originality,

Name one metal band that played as fast/loud as Metallica before Kill 'Em All came out. Name a metal band that incorporated a strong sense of reality into their lyrics before Metallica. Name a thrash metal band that broke into the mainstream before Metallica. Name a metal band that used a sitar before Metallica. No band has broken down the barriers of what a metal band can/can't do the way that Metallica have--the most inventive metal band of all time has no originality?

no imagination.

One would have to be pretty imaginative to make as much groundbreaking, original music as Metallica have. Not convinced? I already reviewed Metallica and Philosophy in an earlier post.

The guitarist has some nice solos, but if he had his own ideas he'd have his own band.

Kirk Hammett's ideas have earned him co-writing credit on 'Fade to Black,' 'Creeping Death,' 'Master of Puppets,' 'Disposable Heroes,' 'Dyer's Eve,' 'Enter Sandman,' '...And Justice for All,' 'Welcome Home (Sanitarium)' 'The Unforgiven...' I could go on. Also, he does have his own band. They're called Metallica.

By all accounts they're sweet guys, and they treat their fans well,

I believe that they're nice guys, but not all accounts paint them as treating their fans well--remember Napster?

so nobody wants to be the meanie who points out how laughable the music is; it's like there's a gentleman's agreement not to dispute the point. It's kind of touching how everybody takes them seriously just for meaning well.

People don't point out how laughable the music is for the same reason that people aren't dismissive of Black Sabbath or AC/DC--because it rocks.

I'm sure I'm just wrong,

Now you're talking!

and I wouldn't dream of trying to change anyone's mind, any more than I'd tell my nieces there's no Easter Bunny.

Well then, I hope that they're not reading this.

They're always going to be the world's biggest band,

I'd say that that honor still goes to the Beatles.

they're always going to sound the same,

Kill 'Em All is almost a punk record, does it sound anything like the prog-metal on ...And Justice for All? Does the nearly definitive thrash milestone Master of Puppets sound anything like the diamond-selling, commercial metal juggernaut Black Album? Does 'Fade to Black' sound at all like 'Whiplash?' How does 'Call of the Ktulu' resemble 'Ride the Lightning?' What aspect does 'Wherever I May Roam' share with anything on the $5.98 EP? What about the live album with the San Francisco Symphony? Load, Reload, and St. Anger may have had some misguided attempts at alt-rock, outlaw country, and bluesier progressions, but they can hardly be accused of all sounding alike.

and everybody's fine with that, including me.

If you're fine with it, then why did you waste my time with this tripe?

The Finer Things in Life

I don't have anything against Dragonforce, but this is too good to miss...



If you haven't seen this by now, you should have...



I laughed, Conan...



Someone had to say it...