The Greatest Evil Laugh in Music History

A great evil laugh is freaking hard--try one, right now. Any time I hear a good one pulled off, I'm duly impressed. The rest of the world seems to feel the same way--the Joker is probably the most popular comic book villain of all time, and a good evil laugh has catapulted some of rock's most compelling figures into the spotlight. Johnny Rotten put punk rock on the map with a callous snicker at the start of 'Anarchy in the U.K.,' and Ozzy Osbourne established his solo career (and validated his insanity) with a goosebump-inducing "ALL ABOAAARRRDD, AH HA HA HA..." Few others have pulled it off as well as those two, but when it comes down to timing, cultural relevance, and flat-out scariness, the voices at the end of 'Master of Puppets' by Metallica takes the cake.



'Master of Puppets' is deservedly the best-known song off the groundbreaking album it shares a name with. At eight minutes, it gives up more hooks than most bands do in their entire career. From the stop/start beginning through the ringing final chord, the composition itself is a fretboard adventure that's as much a guitar/bass/drums (and sometimes more) symphony made up of several movements as it is a kickass piece of thrash metal.

Like much of Metallica's canon, 'Master of Puppets' is as potent lyrically as it is musically. Metallica's portrait of drug use was a far cry from the romantic depictions in songs like 'Dr. Feelgood.' "Taste me you will see/More is all you need/You're dedicated to/How I'm killing you," barks Hetfield in the voice of an all-controlling addiction, right before the now-infamous chorus:

Come crawling faster,
Obey your master.
Your life burns faster,
Obey your master--Master!

Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings.
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams.
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing.
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream.
Master!
Master!

The sense of reality that James Hetfield incorporated into his lyrics is often brought up when contrasting Metallica with the escapist, party-hearty outlook favored by hair metal bands. Before Metallica arrived, most metal bands either wrote about sex, drugs, and rock n' roll (Judas Priest, Motorhead, etc.) or Satan, demons, and voodoo (Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, etc.) Metallica's ability to capture such harrowing internal conflict was all but unheard of in metal, and it made even the very best metal bands seem a little campy in comparison. When Metallica finally decided to conquer the mainstream after years of shunning it (Lars Ulrich famously called Headbanger's Ball "a fucking joke"), they did so with their first-ever music video, and they utterly shamed pop-metal.

An immensely popular Headbanger's Ball video, circa 1987:



Enter Metallica, 1988:




Still, the lyrics to 'Master of Puppets' wouldn't be nearly as compelling were they not backed up by such incredible music. Like the all-controlling drug trip that the song conveys, 'Master' is a musical rollercoaster running off the tracks. At one point it even drifts into a melodic, dream-like interlude, only to distort and fall under the relentless assault of Hetfield and Kirk Hammett's power chords, depicting the constant mood swings of a trip as well as lines "End of passion play/Crumbling away/I'm your source of self-destruction." The mind-bending chord changes keep the song more interesting and worthy of repeated listens than almost any other rock song of its length (yes, including 'Stairway to Heaven'), and it builds up to the greatest evil laugh in music history.

At about 8:15 in the song comes a deep, highly-processed evil laugh that may leave you shaking in your boots. As soon as the guitar cuts out, an inhuman-sounding laugh comes seemingly out of nowhere; a dark "Muah-ha-ha-ha" that sounds like it found its way from your nightmares into your CD player. Almost as suddenly as it appears is in the song, it's soon crushed by the final smattering of chords, the last of which rings out like the after-effects of a punch to the face.

And then...Metallica laugh.

The cackling that James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Cliff Burton, and Lars Ulrich break into at the end of the song is so terrifying upon first listen that it's almost impossible to convey. Prolonged, haunting, and not the least bit cartoonish, it sounds more like gas-huffing hyenas than actual human beings. Most importantly, it is infinitely scarier than the laugh that precedes it. The unrestrained, bellowing guffaws that Metallica dish out seem like something that would come from an institute for the criminally insane, and in a matter of seconds the Disney-villain aesthetic of the previous laugh is banished from your memory. Metallica reminded the world that reality is far darker and scarier than any witchcraft or Satanic imagery that previous metal bands had sung about, and they never articulated that thought better than they did in the two contrasting laughs at the end of 'Master of Puppets.'

You'll have to get the CD to hear what I'm talking about, but here's a killer live take...