The Five Best Metal Interpreters

Frank from Metal Injection once told me that he thought Testament deserved to be in Metal's Big Four and not Anthrax. This seemed like it was worth fighting over, so I informed him that he was wrong. I stand by my case, but he did make one point that I could not counter, which is that Anthrax's best songs are all covers.

Recorded metal covers don't usually do much for the original or the interpreter. Watching the Dillinger Escape Plan roar into Nine Inch Nails' "Wish" in person is a favorite memory for anyone who's been so lucky, but no one who owns Broken needs another version. It takes some extra character to successfully reimagine a song with a tape rolling, and for that we salute these five.

1. Anthrax

Anthrax have no shortage of great originals, but it was their charisma--Scott Ian's tones, Charlie Benante's blast beats, the entire band's penchant for comedy, comic books and Stephen King--that edged them past Testament, Exodus and Overkill. They elevated Public Enemy with "Bring the Noise," spanked Trust with "Antisocial" and topped themselves with this d-beat breakdown of of Joe Jackson's "Got the Time." Flea once observed that this song "made my kidneys flip upside down."



2. Faith No More

FNM won metal hearts in 1989 with a take on "War Pigs" that remains the best cover of the most-covered metal band in history, then proceeded to weird out listeners with faithful, unironic takes on the Commodores' "Easy" and John Barry's Midnight Cowboy theme. Check out their video for the Bee Gees' "I Started a Joke" and keep waiting for the punchline. There isn't one. 



3. Guns N' Roses

They did "Live and Let Die" better than Paul McCartney, "Mama Kin" better than Aerosmith and "Since I Don't Have You" about as well as the Skyliners. Other than the obvious choice of Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower," I have never heard a better Dylan cover than GNR's "Knockin' on Heaven's Door." It reminds me of Nick Hornby's take on pre-sellout Rod Stewart in 31 Songs*.



4. Metallica

It takes more than original songwriting to become the greatest metal band of all time. The $5.98 E.P: Garage Days Re-Revisited did more for underground metal than any fanzine ever did, and its '90s sequel is Metallica's most underrated release. Who knew what a great song "Breadfan" by Budgie was until James Hetfield's downstrokes invigorated it? When Hetfield retires, his right hand should be enshrined in a museum, next to Axl's larynx and Ozzy's liver.



5. Rage Against the Machine

On their last studio album, Renegades, RATM ran Dylan, Springsteen, Eric B. & Rakim, the Stones, Minor Threat, EPMD, Devo and more through Tom Morello's effects pedal wizardry and Zack de la Rocha fiery delivery. It all sounds like Rage; in short, it's fantastic. Any other metal band would be laughed at for taking on Afrika Bambaataa's "Renegades of Funk," but with Rage at the helm it's as potent as "Bulls on Parade."



*On Stewart's version of "Mama You've Been on My Mind." "Stewart's evident love for the song rescues it, or at least spotlights it: where Dylan almost throws it away, with the implication that there's plenty more where that one came from, Stewart's reverence seems to dignify it, invest it with an epical quality that Dylan denies it. I probably like both version equally now, but if it hadn't been for Stewart, I never would have been able to spot that there was anything there."

Song of the Day: Refused, "New Noise"

Usually my take on band reunions is that you get one comeback tour before you need to start releasing new music. I'm happy with one extensive reunion tour (At the Gates, Faith No More), fine with bands releasing new music, no matter how bad (Stooges, New York Dolls) and disappointed when artists wade in year after year of nostalgia with no new product (Pixies, My Bloody Valentine). However, since the Refused's Williamsburg show was rained out and I couldn't get into their make up club show, I'd be OK with them stopping by New York again very soon.



Punk rock was on life support in 1998 when the Refused released The Shape of Punk to Come. There has never been a more aptly-titled record, both in defiantly sticking up for a dying genre and aligning their adventuresome tendencies with Ornette Coleman's. Five Swedish hardcore kids showed up to the Vans Warped Tour era with an actual punk record, one made good with the Sex Pistols' ideas not as much in sound or style as in innovation. 14 years later, it still sounds like The Shape of Punk to Come, a direction that punk music will take, but not for a long time.

"New Noise" may be the only song here that could have appeared on a Punk-O-Rama comp, but even at their tightest, the Refused sound unhinged. Blasts of proto-mathcore get thrown in with some Dischord-worthy melodies. If there were a verse-chorus-verse structure, it'd be compared to the Pixies, but instead it stands as one of the first glimpses of punk as something that jazzheads would play. Converge and the Dillinger Escape Plan would go on to fuse some of these ideas with metal, a genre already known for its musicianship, but with the Refused it's still strictly punk. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

"There's nothing fucking 'mere' about drawing." --Albert Dorne

Song of the Day: Andrew W.K., "Not Going to Bed"

Are going to fall asleep at the table?
I'm not!
Are you going to fall asleep watching cable? 
I'm not!

Song of the Day: Cypress Hill, "(Rock) Superstar"

If my coworkers are any indication, most folks born in the 1990s have never heard of Cypress Hill.



These days, Cypress Hill are pushing 20 years without a great album and are plausibly too stoned to see anything embarrassing about an opening slot for Sublime with Rome this summer. But I prefer to remember them for their first two albums, Cypress Hill and Black Sunday, and for "(Rock) Superstar."

Cypress Hill have better songs than "(Rock) Superstar," but none that exhibit their metal influence quite as well. In 2000, they cashed in on rap-rock mania with Skull & Bones, a rock-fused album blatantly capitalizing on nu metal trends.  It's a flawed record (was it really worth making it a 2-CD set just to have "rap" and "rock" sides, including "(Rap) Superstar?"), yet "(Rock) Superstar" was a rare comeback for them, the kind of hit that they hadn't seen in years and haven't had since.

Few artists have ever convincingly pulled off the Stardom is Tough theme, and it's all the more surprising that a team of LA stoners did so well. It helps that B-Real and Sen Dog's tales are more cautionary than whiny, and that DJ Muggs sounds like he's finally got the crescendo he's been working for. That progression lends itself well to heavier interpretations, as seen below.

With Chino Moreno from the Deftones:



With Slash and Duff McKagan from Guns N' Roses:



Shortly after its release, "(Rock) Superstar" turned up in the trailer to Training Day, where the ascending beat perfectly underscored the tensions in the movie. Too bad the film turned out to be a mediocre vehicle for one transcendent performance. Kind of like Skull & Bones.

Nudist Priest

Sent in by Peacock Mnemonic. Possibly NSFW.

Lemmy

One of the best documentaries that I saw last year, and one of the best metal movies that I can think of, is Greg Olliver and Wes Orshoski's depiction of Lemmy Kilmister. I didn't want it to end.

It's no surprise to watch Lemmy being a badass. People who never have heard a Motörhead song can tell you that. But Lemmy does a terrific job of revealing what a pro he is--practically living on the road, touring and putting out albums for 40something years and leaving any room that Motörhead plays in tatters. Watching everybody from James Hetfield to Steve Vai, Ice-T, Joan Jett, Slash and Henry Rollins show up to fawn over Lemmy reminds me of the quote about how The Velvet Underground's first album sold only ten thousands copies, but everyone who bought one formed a band.

Enjoy the performances, anecdotes and insights in Lemmy right below.

The Five Best Dancers in Metal

I am by no means a dance expert, but I also don't see why dancing is considered wussy in some male circles. Norman Mailer can talk all he wants, but I'd bet against him in a fight with Rahm Emanuel.

The fact is, any dude who wants to put on a good show needs to do more than just sing or play his instrument, and that requires being confident enough with your masculinity to not care about what other people think. Here are five admirable guys who aren't afraid to leave their friends behind.

5. David Lee Roth

The only one on this list who clearly took dance lessons, David Lee Roth can't do anything but entertain you. Those high-kicks, splits, vaudeville steps and irrepressible ad-libs helped make him the greatest hard rock frontman in the world during his first stint with Van Halen.



4. Rob Zombie

Rob's sense of rhythm must have come from a different planet. Other than Jarvis Cocker, I've never seen another musician who seemed to know what the audience was seeing as well as what he was doing. Clearly a future director at work. Watch how even in the cramped space of the Letterman Show studio, Zombie knows how to let himself fly.



3. Iggy Pop

Yes, it's amazing that Keith Richards and Ozzy Osbourne are still alive, but the most remarkable might be Iggy, who not only survived but also still puts on a more violently energetic show than any number of mortals. Here he is schooling the stars of Trainspotting in a promotional video for "Lust for Life."



2. Axl Rose

In the wisest available piece on Axl Rose, John Jeremiah Sullivan dubs him "the only indispensable white male rock dancer of his generation, the only one worth imitating in mockery." He cites a tender moment from the "Patience" video as evidence, but it's the abrupt yet rhythmic spasms of Axl's now-infamous snake dance that made the world take notice.



1. Angus Young

Can you imagine matching the performance intensity of everyone else on this list...while playing a guitar? How about if you're playing the foundation of hard rock and the best blues-metal solos in history? Angus' duck walks and spins remind most folks of Chuck Berry, but a more accurate comparison would be Prince, the only other artist who can pack intrinsic showmanship and picking virtuosity into a 5' 2" frame.

Metal Baby Names

I'm a big fan of writer Margaret Eby and her new book, Rock and Roll Baby Names: Over 2,000 Music-Inspired Names, from Alison to Ziggy. Any nerd for names, music and/or good writing will be engrossed, and I'm sure that I will be picking up many more copies when my friends start having kids. In honor of Margaret's book, particularly the chapter that starts on page 137, here are 20 of my favorites.

 

1. Trey Azagthoth (Morbid Angel) 
2. Balsac the Jaws of Death (GWAR)  
3. Beefcake the Mighty (GWAR)
4. Igor Cavalera (Sepultura)
5. Glenn Danzig
6. Techno Destructo (GWAR)
7. King Diamond
8. Johan Hegg (Amon Amarth)
9. Jizmak Da Gusha (GWAR)
10. Nils Frykdahl (Sleepytime Gorilla Museum)
11. Lemmy Kilmister (Motörhead) 
12. Pepper Keenan (Corrosion of Conformity, Down) 
13. Sleazy P. Martini (GWAR)     
14. Flattus Maximus (GWAR) 
15. Duff McKagan (Guns N' Roses)
16. Ozzy Osbourne
17. Axl Rose (Guns N' Roses)
18. Oderus Urungus (GWAR)
19. Wolfgang Van Halen (Van Halen) 
20. Kaizer Von Loopy (Hanzel und Gretyl)

Metal Goes to the Movies

My mom sent me this post from Adult Swim's web site about covers of classic movie and TV show themes found on the internet. The whole article is worth a read and listen, but here's a sample for you headbangers:

Back to the Future

The soaring progressions of the Back to the Future theme (performed by someone calling himself russfuckingallen) lend themselves perfectly to a power metal interpretation. The instruments are clearly programmed, which makes me hope that someone (hopefully Blind Guardian and not Dragonforce) covers it live, but it's still a fun listen. Favorite YouTuber comment: "eardrums? where we're going, we don't need eardrums."



Halloween

Secret Chief 3's cover is more imaginative, but I like how this guy CeatBeat arranged it, despite his silly accompanying video. Still easily the best theme that a director ever wrote for his own movie.

Song of the Day: Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Saturday Night Special"

No hard rock band has been more misunderstood than Lynyrd Skynyrd. Much of this is due to the musicians currently using their name, releasing albums like God & Guns and songs like "Red White and Blue (Love it or Leave)" with only one musician who played on "Saturday Night Special."



Poor boys from Florida who recorded their first album with money saved from trading bottles for nickels, Lynyrd Skynyrd rose to fame with hits like "Free Bird" and "Sweet Home Alabama." Once they had the world's ear, they defied southern boy stereotypes by speaking out against racism ("The Ballad of Curtis Loew"), drug use ("That Smell") and, on "Saturday Night Special," gun nuts.

Between a couple of stories about trigger-happy loonies, singer Ronnie Van Zandt reminds us that a Saturday night special, slang for a cheap handgun, "Ain't no good for nothin' but puttin' a man six feet in a hole."

"So why don't we dump (guns), people/To the bottom of the sea/Before some fool come around here/Wanna shoot either you or me." Van Zandt concludes. Take that, Ted Nugent.

I'd bet that the real Lynyrd Skynyrd never would have named an album God & Guns.

Song of the Day: Social Distortion, "Making Believe"

Like many folks who were born in the '80s, I learned about the late Kitty Wells through Social Distortion.



Social D are punk rock's Bob Seger. They've never been the best at what they do, but they're consistent, honorable road dogs with more good tunes than you remember. They're often thought of as pioneers to the Orange County punk boom, but more so they're the last of the rockabilly bands, quick to dazzle you with three chords and a story in two and a half minutes. They'll convince you that rock and country are the same thing.

That influence is on singer/songwriter Mike Ness' tattoo sleeves, most famously in Social D's hit cover of "Ring of Fire" and his solo covers album, Under the Influence. Best of all though, is "Making Believe," the D's tears of a punk rip through Wells 1955 chart-topper. It's not the first song that you'd expect a bunch of bros to SoCal bros to cover--previous interpreters include Wanda Jackson, Connie Francis, Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton. But Social Distortion's cover is a reminder that these gals didn't make it big by offering an alternative to the outlaw country stylings of the Highwaymen, but by being just as iconoclastic as their Y-chromosomal peers.

"Thank you, Kitty Wells, for shakin’ up the boys club, and for all of your great music," Social D wrote on their web site this week. Thank you, Mike Ness, for enlightening me.

Appetite for Destruction: "Rocket Queen"

Let's get it out of the way. This is the song where Axl Rose had sex with Steve Adler's girlfriend.



The first time that I heard "Rocket Queen," I was listening to Appetite for Destruction on headphones, the whole way through. My first thought during the instrumental section was was "What is this?" My second was "I'd better not let my parents hear this."

Years after that first listen, Rolling Stone tracked down Adriana Smith, the 19-year-old girl whose climaxes ended up selling 28 million copies worldwide. "I would do anything Axl asked me to do," said Smith, now a mom in her 40s. "He's fuckin' magical."

That's exactly why we like Axl Rose. Steve Adler is certainly not infallible (he was on his way to being kicked out of GNR for, amazingly, drug abuse. If you watch him talk today, you can tell.) But he was the one being wronged here. Yet Axl can sleep with Steve's girlfriend, record it for the world to hear and still be the one that we like more. It's a little bit like explaining why Bill Clinton's approval ratings, book sales and speaking engagements always outperform Hillary's.

The Clinton comparison isn't an original one. Lars Ulrich, one of the most famous musicians in the world who still has to answer questions about Axl Rose, once made this claim:

"When he was in a good mood, he was the sweetest guy, and when he forgot to take his medicine or decided to go off, he was kind of a freak. He was the last person I've ever seen, though, besides maybe Bill Clinton, that when he walked into a room every single person was drawn to him. That's a rare thing." 

Is it fair that Axl sleeps with his bandmates' girlfriends, cancels shows on seconds' notice, wears t-shirts with Charles Manson's face, calls Slash "a cancer" and still has money, adoration and respect thrown at him? Of course not, but we all understand why he can. Ian MacKaye never has to defend himself against assault charges or bigotry accusations, and by all accounts he treats his fans, friends and bandmates well. But his music is also never as rewarding as Axl's.

I want to shower "Rocket Queen" in all the flowery language that my Liberal Arts degree can come up with. The funk rock progression that the Chili Peppers lifted for "Naked in the Rain," the entrancing vocal melody and most of all the lovely final movement, as surprisingly uplifting as the ending to (classic movie spoiler alert), deserve all the awe that music can get. But I can't express why as well as Adriana Smith did in Rolling Stone.

Song of the Day: Rob Zombie, "Living Dead Girl"

More often than not, I find myself defending Rob Zombie's solo career to fellow White Zombie fans. Like nearly every artist who has been making music for nearly 30 years, Rob has seen his creativity decline, but I stand by Hellbilly Deluxe, his solo debut, which sits with Astro-Creep 2000 as his greatest musical achievement.

"Dragula" and "Superbeast" soundtracked every action movie trailer from 1999-2003, but my favorite is "Living Dead Girl." People who say that "Living Dead Girl" isn't scary are missing the point. George Romero's films aren't as scary as Stanley Kubrick's, but sometimes you'd rather watch something fun.

One of my favorite things about Rob Zombie is that he has no pretenses about his position in the world. He may be the only shock rocker who never set out to be Public Enemy Number One. Around the release of Hellbilly Deluxe, I remember an interview where, in response to the interviewer's goading, Zombie stated that he wasn't as scary as Marilyn Manson. He's right, and that's why he's taken more seriously than Marilyn Manson these days.

Metal's greatest cinemaphile, Rob directed and based the song's music video off The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.



That's Rob's wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, as the titular character. Oh, stop it.

Song of the Day: Deep Purple, "Hush"

I don't usually like keyboard metal, Joe South (who also wrote "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden") or Deep Purple. But thanks to Jon Lord, I enjoy "Hush."



Other than Ray Manzarek, I can't think of a major '60s rock organist who was so vital to his band. Lord's grasp of the rhythm here makes me wonder if he also played drums. His solo reminds me of the best guitar playing, where the space between the notes is just as important as actual notes. "Rick Wakeman, eat your heart out," Jello Biafra once said on Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death. Jon Lord beat him to it, and he didn't even need words.

For Jon Lord, 1941-2012.

Appetite for Destruction: "Anything Goes"

"Anything Goes" is the second valley on Appetite for Destruction, after "Out ta Get Me." It's no "Mr. Brownstone," yet it's indispensable to the song cycle. I bet that the decision-makers in GNR can make killer mix tapes.



"Anything Goes" was written in 1981, when Axl Rose and Izzy Stradlin were both 19, for their band Hollywood Rose.  Here's a demo version:



Would you believe that this is the first available sign of the greatest metal album in history? It sounds almost tossed-off on Appetite, but listen to how much more confident and less derivative it became over the years. The ZZ Top-esque breakdowns are gone, the harmonies are much tighter and aimless shredding has been ditched for punk ferocity. Patience has always been Axl and Izzy's best virtue.

Music critics fetishize Nirvana as the band that put a stake through the collective glam metal heart, but GNR did something much harder. On "Anything Goes," they beat glam on its own turf, with Slash exhibiting talk box solos that sounded more like someone (and at one point, a rooster) being strangled than Peter Frampton. "Anything Goes" even steals glam metal's (well, all of music's) favorite theme and takes away the safety net. There's no assurance that anything goes as long as it works out in the end, or as long as we stay together. Just as long as Axl says it does.

Better Than Rockabye Baby

Excitement Metal

At last weekend's Guided by Voices show, I was enthusing to Ellen about the hole that Iron Maiden blew in my brain and eardrums at their Prudential Center onslaught. When she asked what they sounded like, I struggled to articulate The Number of the Beast through a series of shrieks, air guitar riffs, headbanging and horns flashing.

"So, Iron Maiden is...excitement metal?" Ellen asked. She understands everything.



Excitement Metal

1. The Number of the Beast    
2. Can I Play With Madness    
3. Fear of the Dark (Live)
4. Run to the Hills
5. Bring Your Daughter... To The Slaughter
6. The Evil That Men Do
7. Aces High
8. Be Quick Or Be Dead
9. 2 Minutes To Midnight
10. Running Free (Live)
11. Wasted Years
12. The Clairvoyant
13. The Trooper
14. Hallowed By Thy Name

This was the laziest mix that I've ever made. It's just Iron Maiden's Best of the Beast without the two Blaze Bayley songs. Thankfully, my lack of effort is superseded by those of the band represented here. Call it Best of the Best of the Beast.

I don't mind Bayley, and actually enjoy "Man on the Edge." But come on--you don't want to hear "Right Now" on a Van Halen best of. On Best of Beast, "Man on the Edge" is sorbet to cleanse the palate, and who wants their palate cleansed when you've got Bruce Dickinson on your table?

Most Maidenheads will probably be appalled my starting point for a friend was a best of and not a studio album. But Best of the Beast was my first Maiden record, the one that made me a fan and still the one that I put on at parties. When Ellen wants to check out Powerslave or Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, they're readily available. Plus, copying a band-endorsed anthology saves me from the trouble of having to fit my favorite Iron Maiden songs into an 80-minute standing.

Not my most creative mix, but as President Kennedy once said*, "a great mix is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together on a compact disc, with the possible exception of when Iron Maiden stands alone."

*Paraphrased.

Metalheads vs. the Westboro Baptist Church

Fish in a barrel, but still entertaining.

Foo Fighters in Kansas City:



Ronnie James Dio's funeral, via Blabbermouth.net:

Sent in by welltailoredsuit:

Iron Maiden at the Prudential Center

Mayhem Fest? Forget it. Summer Slaughter? Nice try. You will not see a better show--club, park, arena, stadium or basement, than the one that Iron Maiden and Alice Cooper took to the Prudential Center last Monday.



Long lauded as one of the finest live acts in metal, Maiden only seem to get better as Nicko McBrain turns 60. Someone should hire the whole band as anti-drug spokesmen. Each of the bandmates turned in athletic performances that shamed anything Aerosmith, Van Halen, Black Sabbath or Judas Priest can pull off, to say nothing of nearly all artists young enough to be Steve Harris' children. Maiden's chops are nonpareil, and their stage set, a refinement of their 1989 Seventh Son of a Seventh Son tour spectacle, speaks volumes for the artistry of high-budget rock shows.

Of course there was also risk, which arrived in the form of one of rock music's most legendarily charismatic frontmen opening the show. The irreplaceable Cooper took the first set, packing all the best elements from the show he's spent his life perfecting into one ideal hour-long set. Little has changed about Alice since you last saw him, including the fact that no one plays theatrical shock-rock as well as he does. The swordplay, chambers, guillotine and Frankenstein's monster were all there, along with some staged routines with the road crew and a reliably hit-heavy setlist. His band, all of whom looked younger than Welcome to My Nightmare, indulged in the fun.

As a showman, Alice is refreshingly old school. More than a harbinger to Rob Zombie, he's a throwback to Screamin' Jay Hawkins, dead set on delivering the best show that music and Halloween props can give you. Closing with "School's Out," Cooper added the chorus to "Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2" to the finale. It clarified both his influence on Pink Floyd and the fact that he articulated school life better than Roger Waters.



Following Alice Cooper's act would be devastating anything less than the very best artists, but Maiden passed with flying Union Jacks. Entering to "Moonchild," the band embarked on a two-hour set of their best songs. "The Number of the Beast," "Wasted Years" and "2 Minutes to Midnight" are all pillars of metal, yet underappreciated by anyone who's never seen them performed by their sculptors.

Bruce Dickinson, arguably metal's greatest frontman to this day, egged the crowd on like a showbiz pro, taking a friendly jabs at our upcoming holiday (the one where we declared independecne from his country) between acing every note of his larynx-pushing vocals. Dave Murray, Adrian Smith and Janick Gers perpetually slung their guitars around their shoulders, racing up and down the stage set while joined by Eddie's likeness on a Sphinx, monumental statues and a zombie soldier. It was the kind of show that only a few bands can compete with, none of whom come close to Maiden's songcraft.

Iron Maiden tours seem to rotate between "classics" and "new songs" setlists, and with all respect to The Final Frontier, the band is best seen playing their best songs. In their compositional prime, Maiden's were as un-wanky as power metal gets, with relatively relaxed solos and only a few songs hitting the eight-minute mark. By re-enacting their Seventh Son tour with better proficiency and production values, Maiden blessed us with rarely-played tracks from the 1988 release alongside stompers like "Run to the Hills" and "The Trooper." Rules were bended to include '90s glories like "Fear of the Dark" and "Afraid to Shoot Strangers," lest you believe it was a nostalgia show.

After an encore that break wasn't long enough to find a bathroom, Maiden returned with "Aces High." Ending by appeasing Paul Di'Anno fans with "Running Free," the band bowed and left the dazed audience to find our way out while "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" played on the arena PA. If you only see one metal band, try Iron Maiden, and if you only see them once, now is the time.

Help Randy Blythe

Randy Blythe is still in a Czech jail. I thought that this would be taken care of in a few days, but even after posting a nearly $200,000 bail, Blythe remains imprisoned.

I don't believe in fans jumping onstage during shows, unless the artist (i.e. only Iggy Pop or Andrew W.K.) encourages it, and even then in moderation. Especially after Dimebag Darrell's murder, no artist should be blamed for the fate of some jackass who jumps at the band during their performance. The more I read about this matter, the more infuriating it gets that Blythe is being detained. By all accounts from my friends in the music business, he is a good guy.

Please take a moment to help Randy Blythe here. There's been an absurd backlash to this fund, which Chris Adler has addressed here, and I can't see a good reason for Randy to be in jail. Send your best thoughts and support his way.

Appetite for Destruction: "You're Crazy"

If two people tell you you're crazy, seek help. If Axl Rose tells you You're Crazy, you might be a lost cause.



"You're Crazy" is the heaviest song on Appetite for Destruction, a more concentrated shot of the band's punk roots than any of the punk songs that they covered. For some people, that grit is what separates GNR from Rock of Ages.

The charged version of "You're Crazy" is perfect for its spot on Appetite, where it's a blast of angry ruckus to change the mood back from "Sweet Child O' Mine." Still, there's an even creepier, unplugged version on G N' R Lies. The band all sound like they're succumbing to cabin fever as the tape rolls.



Yet my favorite version of "You're Crazy" is performed live, where Lies' gloom meets Appetite's aggression in a bloozey groove worthy of the Rolling Stones.



Hear how the song loses none of its venom at a different pace or a lower volume. How many other hard rock and metal bands could pull off stunts like this? If the Black Crowes ever heard "You're Crazy," they'd give up.

"You don't want my love, you want satisfaction," hisses Axl. These days, he's probably so used to getting his way that it seems crazy when he doesn't. But on "You're Crazy," he was just another guy who broke Nelson Algren's third rule of life.

Song of the Day: Link Wray, "Batman Theme"

"Heavy metal would not exist without Led Zeppelin, and if it did, it would suck," Dave Grohl once said. Jimmy Page would probably have similar words for his influence, Link Wray.



I love this scene from It Might Get Loud, where Page can't contain the excitement he gets from "Rumble," Link Wray's most famous work. Even the gods get giddy.

In 1966, at the peak of the Adam West craze, Wray recorded the classic Caped Crusader theme, written by Neal Hefti. That's Link's kid brother as Dick Grayson.



Robin and the "sound effects" get in the way, just as they did on the show, but no one can be trusted with the twelve bar blues more than Link Wray, whose tones give the song the edge it deserves. Until Prince in 1989, no guitarist gave a better tribute to Gotham City's favorite son.

Song of the Day: Faith No More, "Midlife Crisis"

What if David Lynch managed a rock band?



David Foster Wallace once took a shot at defining the word "Lynchian" as "a particular kind of irony where the very macabre and the very mundane combine in such a way as to reveal the former's perpetual containment within the latter." To me, that's Faith No More and "Midlife Crisis."

The song is from the record Angel Dust, named for the dehumanizing drug with a pretty name. The album cover, a lovely image of egret, opens up to display a cow hanging from a meat hook. Watch for the white horses in the video above, then stick around to see what they're doing.

See if you can also catch snippets of Simon & Garfunkel in the intro and the Beastie Boys in the bridge. Other than a New York base, the two don't have much in common, but they're snug together inside Faith No More's original score.

As with all FNM songs, I can't figure out what this one is about. They've always been more concerned with the sounds of the words in the melody than the meaning behind the lyrics, so don't try to make head or tail of couplets like "You're perfect, yes, it's true, But without me you're only you/Your menstruating heart, It ain't bleedin' enough for two." Just hear how they roll off Mike Patton's tongue, with the range of a choirboy and the lungs of a demon.

One of my favorite moments in any song I've heard comes right after the pause at 2:38. With brilliant aptitude, the band layers the vocal melodies from the verses and chorus on top of each other in perfect synchronization. When writers gab about how musicians see the world differently from the rest of us, this is what they should be talking about.

Two summers ago, I caught Faith No More's U.S. reunion tour and fell into ecstasy. I screamed along to every word while gearing up for my favorite moment of "Midlife Crisis." After two-and-a-half blissful minutes, the band drew out the pause almost longer than I could stand. They returned with "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder instead.

Sister to LA

Why my sister would move to LA when New York is readily available, I will never know. But I do know better than to try to change her mind, and as long as she's going, I will make her a road trip soundtrack.



Sister to LA

1. Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Under the Bridge"
2. 2Pac feat. Dr. Dre & Roger Troutman, "California Love"
3. Patti Smith, "Redondo Beach"
4. Rufus Wainwright, "California"
5. Snoop Dogg, "Gin and Juice"
6. The Ramones, "California Sun"
7. Guns N' Roses, "Welcome to the Jungle"
8. Frank Zappa, "San Ber'dino"
9. Tom Waits, "Hold On"
10. Joni Mitchell, "California"
11. Lesley Gore, "California Nights"
12. Billy Bragg & Wilco, "California Stars"
13. Elliott Smith, "Angeles"
14. Liz Phair, "Dogs of L.A."
15. X, "Los Angeles"
16. Beck, "Hollywood Freaks"
17. LL Cool J, "Going Back to Cali"
18. Tom Petty, "Free Fallin'"
19. Led Zeppelin, "Going to California"
20. Neil Young, "L.A."
21. Green Day, "Welcome to Paradise" 

As I've mentioned, there are far too many great California songs for one CD. To make this easier on myself, I eschewed the most predictable choices--no "Girls," "Dreamin'" or "Here I Come," although the latter's Bill Evans rendition tempted me. I couldn't resist "California Love," even though it hasn't been cool since it was included in the Marmaduke trailer, and I gave LL Cool J's "Going Back to Cali" preference over Biggie's, due to the former's appearance in a movie with my sister's favorite actor.

I'm happy with the mix of deep cuts and standards. Underrated tracks from Frank Zappa (a redundancy?) and Liz Phair (ditto?) both honor the state, and my music buddy Jesse hooked me up the excellent yet out-of-print Neil Young number. Then again, I'll never get sick of "Under the Bridge," "Gin and Juice" or even "Free Fallin'."

The sister likes girl groups, so I've included Lesley Gore, and she is also partial to Elliott Smith, Tom Waits and Rufus Wainwright. Sis also probably knows every word to Joni Mitchell's "California," so for good measure I've included it here with the song that Led Zeppelin wrote for Joni.

Welcome to LA, Sis. Enjoy the fun n' games.

PS> Good thing I had the playlist handy, as my buddy Erica also informed me that she's moving to LA on hours' notice. She's getting a mix with Frank Black, the Grateful Dead and others.

PPS> Sis, if you're reading this, the Morningside Heights Post Office is kind of sketchy. If the CD doesn't arrive soon, download it below.

Download here: Sister to LA

Song of the Day: Alice Cooper, "Born This Way"

Yes, "Born This Way." Here's Alice at this summer's Bonnaroo, putting on the best show that many of these people will ever see.



Alice doesn't need three guitarists, but he knows that it looks cool. How many people could give this song such a bite? How many of them are 64?

If Alice records this, I will pick it up.

Dear Randy Blythe,

I am a huge fan of your music and a fellow Virginian. I can't wait to see Lamb of God with Gojira and Dethklok in August. The charges against you seem unfair to me, and my best thoughts are with you during this difficult time. I very much hope that things work out for you, and I encourage others to support you as well.

However, with your well-being in mind, surely you know at least one person who can get you a suit and tie. Court is literally the only place in the world where it is never cool to wear an Obituary hoodie.

Best wishes,
Ben

California Punk

Punk rock songs about California deserve their own box set. None of these are making it to my final mix CD, but that doesn't mean that they don't deserve your ears. More outtakes:

Dead Kennedys, "California Über Alles" and "Moon over Marin"

The two most accidentally melodic DK tracks are dedicated to the state's Jerry Brown Part I-era conditions. Jello Biafra's lyrics sound dated, even escapist in a post-Dick Cheney America, but the tunes rescue them.





Fear, "I Love Livin' in the City"

Mr. Boddy from Clue croons of his favorite city and all the debauchery that it encompasses. Eat your heart out, Randy Newman.



The Stooges, "L.A. Blues"

Call it noise-rock, if noise-rock ever got this good. "L.A. Blues" ruined music for everyone (except for maybe Thurston Moore and G.G. Allin.)



Sleater-Kinney, "Hollywood Ending"

Proof that Sleater-Kinney's deep cuts run deep. Outside of the Beastie Boys, no alt-rock vocalists played off each other as well as Corin Tucker and Carrie Brownstein.



Frank Black, "Los Angeles"

"I want to live in Los Angeles, not the one in Los Angeles." Of course not, Frank.



Rancid, "Journey to the End of the East Bay"

I spent a week laboring over this bassline, and even tried playing with three fingers, like Matt Freeman. Somehow, it never sounded quite like this.



The Misfits, "Hollywood Babylon"

Laugh at Glenn Danzig all you want. No one, not even the Cramps, ever captured the macabre psychobilly sound quite like he did with the Misfits.



Local H, "California Songs"

It kills me to not include this. I've seen Local H play this for eight years, and every year there's a new terrible hit about California for Scott Lucas to dedicate the song to. When Local H write about hating California as much as they hate the music it inspires, it'll go on a mix for my sister.

Song of the Day: Big Business, "Another Fourth of July...Ruined"

Big Business now have four members, but they sounded more like an army when they were just a duo. Here's an argument for guitarless metal.

With a Purposeful Grimace and a Terrible Sound

When Gojira's From Mars to Sirius stormed the US in 2006, earnest but lazy stateside listeners called the band "a French Mastodon." Now that their fifth album, L'enfaunt Sauvage is out, no one with shrewder ears than Jann Wenner will be making that mistake.



Unlike the Georgia Giants, whose every record seems to reflect a new direction, or Lamb of God, content to stomp on their burnt palaces from heron, Gojira have found where they're going and gone deeper over their past few records. The oddly dry The Link excepted, each Gojira album succincts and out-brutalizes the serrated riffage and tribal drumming of the record before.

How Gojira can make death-prog this ingratiating is still a mystery. On L'enfant Sauvage, the band is wiping out old things like hooks and time signatures and rendering their Inconvenient Truth-worthy lyrics indecipherable. The push-pull of brothers Joe and Mario Duplantier is the kind of chemistry that comes around once in a metal moon--check out how Mario's cymbal precision glows under Joe's palm-muting in "Explosia," or how the drums infiltrate the guitar lines of "Liquid Fire" and the title track. A professor of tones, slides and pinch harmonics, Duplantier is one of the 21st century's guitar gods, whether turning "Born in Winter"'s mellow drone into a savage melody, eliciting cries under his brother's beatdown on "Pain is a Master" or dropping in on the ocean in "The Wild Healer." Unless Converge or Pig Destroyer can do better, this will be the year's best metal album.

California Metal

My sister is moving to California this month, and I agreed to make her a corresponding mix CD. This was before I realized that there are a lot of songs about California. I figured that I'd work things out simply by not including any bad California songs, but I'm still struggling to cut down 40 or so great tracks into an 80-minute CD.

Some outtakes:

The Dillinger Escape Plan with Mike Patton, "Hollywood Squares"

Two of the most idiosyncratic artists in metal bring out the best in each other, taking noise and melody to parts unknown.



Tool, "Ænima"

A 12/8 finger extended to L.A. gangbangers, scientologists and folks who don't believe in climate change. The weirdest song to ever win a Grammy.



Public Enemy, "Burn Hollywood Burn"

Metal by association. Dig Flavor Flav dropping punchlines before he became one--the Driving Miss Daisy reaction still makes me smile.



Guns N' Roses, "Move to the City"

In title alone is this appropriate for my baby sister.



Guns N' Roses, "Paradise City"

As grand a statement as ever recorded, but not the GNR song I'm picking for the mix.



Soundgarden, "Outshined"

These days, Chris is probably looking Minnesota and feeling California.



Kid Rock, "Cowboy"

I love this song. My sister, like most intellectuals, does not.

Death to All at Irving Plaza

Gary Rossington, this is how you do it. Over ten years after Chuck Schuldiner's death from brain cancer, some of his bandmates, friends and admirers have joined forces to tour as Death to All, a Death tribute act donating 20% of their tickets to the Sweet Relief Musicians Fund.



Coincidentally performing on the day that the Supreme Court upheld Obamacare, Death to All played a two-and-a-half hour show dedicated to one of the first and best discographies in death metal. Obscura's Steffen Kummerer and Abysmal Dawn's Charles Elliott took vocals and guitarist duties, with varying degrees of talent and stage banter, but the draw was seeing Schuldiner's old bandmates, one of whom has gone on to be Gene Hoglan, play songs like "Crystal Mountain" and "Lack of Comprehension." Alex Skolnick and Richard Christy made Last Waltz-esque cameos. Reunited Canadian tech death act Gorguts played a smashing opening set. Other than a broken AC that had a few attendees literally passing out, it was a perfect tribute.